How To: Start the New Year

First off, let me apologize. I was so carried away on my vacation that I completely lost track of what day it was. At about 4 yesterday afternoon, my best friend Catherine texted me and said, "No post today?" I just stared at my phone with a "Huh?" face until I realized IT WAS WEDNESDAY! I hadn't even written anything!! What to do?!

So thank you, dear readers, for not hating me and still reading my post even though it happens to be a day late.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

One of my favorite things about New Years Eve is that you get to say goodbye to the last year, celebrate the great things that happened and forget all of the bad. Wipe that slate clean.  Its a time to let bygones be bygones and appreciate all of the wonderful people in your life. 

2011 has been quite the year for me. Early last year I started a new job working at a law office in downtown Dallas writing legal documents. I was lucky enough to be introduced to several new friends of all ages and start earning a salary that didn't make me want to cry. I put on my wedgie-inducing big kid pants, got up at 6:30 every morning like a real adult and made myself a living. 

Later that year, I started online dating again (read all about it on How To; Find 50 First Dates) and ended up meeting a very interesting new boy/man/guy that carried me through the summer and into the fall. He reminded me of how much I love football and caring for other people. He constantly was urging me to follow my true passions in life, and that carried me into September.

September rolled around, I turned 25 and I made one of the best decisions of my life. I started writing Mishaps of an Almost Adult! Not only do I get to make you laugh each week but I get to show myself that although my life may seem disastrous and out of control, I actually give okay advice and am maybe not that far off from where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life. All of your wonderful feedback only makes me realize that WE ARE NOT ALONE! If I help you even remotely, or just make you laugh at your own crazy life, or mine, well, then I feel like I've done something good.

In October, I started working on restarting my business doing graphic and web design and doing what I really love. With the help of my friends and my new business partner, Creative Aim Studios is up and running again and better than ever. I also found out that I'm going to be an AUNT! I'm too excited to spoil the freaking crap out of my little niece or nephew.

November and December rolled around and made me look over the past year and my life in general. I constantly realize how unbelievably lucky I am to be where I am. I'm 25, a blogger (with readers at that, wooooo!), a business owner, a budgeter, a Person to one awesome dog, a best friend, a budget traveler,  a sports fanatic, a break-up bouncer-backer, a good adult daughter, a penny pincher, and a proper office party attendee. What more could I want for my life?

The only advice I can give you for this next year ahead is to make it count. Make big plans! The sky is the limit. Set your goals and work your bum off to achieve them, no matter what they might be. 

See you in 2012!

How To: Road Trip

I am beyond excited. Each day this week I announced to everyone around me that it was my “Last Monday of 2011” followed by “Last Tuesday!” and now “Last Wednesday!!!!” Tomorrow, expect me to be yelling “LAST WORK DAY FOR THE YEAR!” as I’m getting off the elevator. After work tomorrow, I’m hitting the road. I’m out of here. I’m headed HOOOOOOME!

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

For those of you who don’t know me very well, it is important to note in this article that I had moved to seven different states by the time I went off to college, adding one more to that my freshman year. That’s right. I’ve spent my entire life packing up, hopping in the car and zigzagging my way across this great big country.

Ever since I can remember, my family was always traveling, either from moving, or because we moved and had to go someplace else to visit family. We Millers have never been too good at sitting still.

My dad has mastered the art of the Road Trip. Well, sort of. He taught me early on in life how to be a Master Long Distance Driver. I was always the carsick one, so I would eventually end up riding shotgun, talking to my dad, learning the skills required to be a MLDD. Meanwhile, my mom and Eric sat in the back and watched Iron Will, Cool Runnings or Angels in the Outfield (yes, those are your only three options) on our 13” TV/VCR combo plugged into an adaptor while lying on the floor of a Chevy Astro with the seats out. We rode in style way before any of this drop-down TV business. Please feel free to laugh at the visual image of our 90’s family awesomeness.

So before you hop in the ol’ front-wheel sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and head to your old fashioned family Christmas, wherever it may be, remember these tips.

1. Listen to your dad, boyfriend, brother, or whoever your male auto afficionado is who actually knows something about cars. Check your tire pressure. Get your oil changed. Fill up your wiper fluid. Yada yada yada. Except really do it. Who wants to have car trouble in the middle of nowhere?
2. Pack in those tunes! There is nothing worse than when you lose all radio signals and have zero to listen to. Fill up your iPod or burn a bunch of new CDs.
3. If you’re driving alone, make sure you have something sweet or some kind of caffeine in the car in case you get a little drowsy. Decide if you're an early bird or a night owl. I prefer to wake up early and get most of the driving done rather than staying up late into the evening. At least in the daylight you have stuff to look around at, even if you're only noticing how desolate this town is.
4. The biggest rule of my dad’s that I break on a regular basis is “Only stop at places on the side of the road that you are already traveling.” If you’d prefer to eat somewhere on the opposite side of the highway from the way you’re traveling, well, according to this rule, tough luck. I say screw that. You’re already going to be sitting in the car for who knows how long. Get good food that you enjoy and then get back into driving mode.
5. If you’re traveling on back roads like I do to get home to Colorado, always watch speed limit signs. Two lane highways are infamous for dropping the speed limit from 70 to 35 in no time flat. That would be one horrendous speeding ticket and hard to talk your way out of, no matter how good you are at batting your eyelashes and looking innocent.
6. Even if you don’t need to stop for a bathroom break, take advantage of rest stops if you haven’t gotten out of the car in a while. It’s always good to stand up, walk around for a minute or two and stretch before you get back into the car. It’ll keep you awake and alert for longer.
7. Don’t push yourself past your limit. If you need to, stop at a rest stop and lean your seat back for an hour. The best part about road trips is that there’s no particular time frame. Take your time. Take a picture at the Worlds Largest Teepee. See that World’s Largest Prairie Dog. (It’s a statue. How lame. And yes, I’ve stopped.) Have fun! Take in the scenery! Enjoy the drive! It’ll be over before you know it.

I’m off to go pack up my car full of presents, ski boots, dog food, tasty road snacks, an 80-lb dog and myself. What an odd sleigh I have.

Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone!

How To: Make a Mountain from a Mole Hill

One lesson I have definitely learned while being an Almost Adult is to surround myself with people that have different skills than me. Today's article was written with the assistance of my long-time bestie, Brad, who happens to be a financial advisor. Brad is stepping in this week to help advise you (and me) with some money-saving tips.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

Okay, so I have a confession to make. I have a new obsession with house hunting. Its a problem. Every time I hear the dogs barking upstairs and the fire trucks go blazing down my street at night, I flip on HGTV and end up daydreaming of the house that I will one day own and refinish room by room. It. Will. Be. Awesome. Sorry, Dad, for all of the emails you get about all of the houses I have fallen in love with in the meantime.

One teensy weensy, itty bitty hiccup. Houses are really freaking expensive. And I don't have any money.

Has anyone else realized how unbelievably hard it is to be disciplined about saving money? Maybe I just have a shopping problem (Fact. I definitely do.) and eat out too much, but man, it is hard to convince myself each month to make that transfer of funds to my savings after all of my bills are paid and my bank account continues to dwindle all on its own without my assisting it by saving even just a little.

This weekend I drove around and was looking at neighborhoods that I might be interested in purchasing a home in (I told you I have a problem) and decided it was time to start working on this dream becoming a reality. I needed to work a little harder on saving some money.

I quickly decided that one of the better resources I had available to me was my best friend Brad and decided to ask his advice on how to make a mountain from a mole hill. Although my savings is more like an ant hill than a mole hill.

Here's what I learned:

1. Every penny counts. $50 a pay check will turn into $1,300 over the course of a year without severely impacting your quality of life in the meantime. Start small by setting your bank account to automatically transfer a reasonable amount of money from your paycheck.
2. Always have an "emergency fund". Try to save for a cushion account in case you would lose your job or transfer jobs and be without your usual paycheck for the month. Brad suggested six months worth of expenses. I suggest putting your head between your knees or breathing into a paper bag. And not losing your job.
3. Don't tempt yourself. A lot of banking websites have a feature that allows you to "hide" your savings account from yourself so that you don't see the money in there. Better yet, open a separate savings or investment account dedicated towards making large purchases that you don't have every day access to. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. Set yourself up with a realistic budget with help from Mishaps' How To: Pay your Bills Bills Bills. Figure out how much you REALLY need a month and then set up your saving goal accordingly. Mint.com is both a miracle-worker and a chop-buster. If you're embarrassed to look at your finances and your Pie Chart of Shame, well, its never too late to start over and try again.
5. Check out your 401(k) benefits if you have them through your company (or 403(b) for those of you that work for schools/non-profits). Figure out what the max is that your company will match your contribution and if that is not some absurdly high number, consider making the full payment towards it. Its like free money from your company. Plus, Brad claims that, on average, every 7 years you wait to start saving money, you are cutting your retirement in half. He said something about the rule of 72. If you have no idea what that is, me neither. Google it if you need some proof or help with insomnia.
6. Don't count on bonuses, tax returns or any sort of extra income. Use it to pay down debts or put it directly into your savings account instead. You don't really need that new (fill in the blank with whatever you're interested in), do you? Its a great way to put yourself ahead of Your Plan and stay on track.
7. If you're having a full blown Nervy B bordering on a Complete Ditherspaz, me too. Saving is a gradual process; it doesn't happen overnight. Work on living your life on a budget and save what you can. Anything is better than nothing. Plus, you're an Almost Adult. Part of being an Almost Adult is being broke for a bit.

Think of how awesome it will feel when you aren't embarrassed to look at your bank account. Especially when I'm sitting on my cutely decorated and landscaped back porch looking at the house that I paid for with my own money. 'Til then, if you live above me, please figure out a way for your dog to stop barking so I can stop having to drown you out with HGTV.

How To: Have Proper Office Party Etiquette

If you're thinking Dundie's, a Chili's restaurant with a microphone, and "second drink" here, we're on the same page. That's right; it’s the time of year for the Office Party. And I'm not talking about the drinking game that several of my friends and I invented in college to go along with a The Office marathon watch party. (Every time you hear "Big Tuna" take a drink. Every time Jim Halpert does a camera stare, take a drink. Every time Michael Scott says "That's what she said.” take a drink.)

Here is an appropriate story about exactly what NOT to do as experienced by my best friend Colby:

My boyfriend came home one afternoon with exciting news. The bank he works for was having a Christmas party and I was invited. Normally, this would be accompanied with a "greaaaaat" and a fake smile. Turns out, the bank had bought two box suites for a Sunday evening Trans Siberian Orchestra concert as their Christmas party - they wanted to change it up from the usual drab hors- doeuvres meet and greet to something a little more upbeat (literally). After discovering this exciting turn of events, I made sure I was showered, dressed appropriately, and ready to put on my best smile and big girl charm I know is buried down there somewhere.

When we arrived at the venue I was instantly a shoe-in for Favorite Plus One. Bringing up the bottom end of this category was Luke's co-worker's husband. Not only was it a Sunday, but it was 6:30pm, and he was TANKED. (Maybe he played Aimee's The Office Marathon game all day?) Completely disheveled in appearance was the least of the icks - his breathed had the odor of a men's bathroom, and being Irish (this is Boston, after all), had the mindset of a 14-year-old boy in heat - with his baby mama standing right there - claaaassyy.

Here are the immediate No No's from this evening: He had gone out to the bar and drank only shots prior to the show (no no #1). He continued to drink during the show without eating (no no #2). He grabbed every female's ass including the bank president’s wife (no no #3). If that's not enough, he fell asleep halfway throughout the concert... cherry on top. And slightly impressive through a semi-techno concert.

Although your next (or maybe first) office party as an Almost Adult may not be emceed by Michael Scott and probably less awesome than a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert, there are certain rules that should be followed at ALL office parties. (They're so vitally important I'm going above and beyond my normal 7 tips and giving you 10. You'll be so prepared!)

1. Check your invitation for directions on appropriate attire. If your party is on a week day directly after work, business attire is always appropriate. If on the weekends, you have a little bit of extra leeway. HOWEVER, if the invitation says "business attire OR festive attire" - festive attire by no means equals "what I wore to the Ugly Sweater party junior year of college." No blinking antlers please.
2. If the food that is being served is listed as hors-d'oeuvres, that means APPETIZER. This is not a meal. Do not load your plate so high you can't tell what you're eating. For those of us that still have the "Free food tastes best" mindset, feel free to go back as many times as you want, but be able to see the bottom of your plate on every trip.
3. Speaking of tripping, lets talk alcohol. Do you become clumsy when drunk? Have you accidentally said something you shouldn't have while intoxicated? Does your voice get louder in direct proportion to the amount of drinks you've had? Do you enjoy having a job? If you said yes to any of these, two drink maximum. (If you happen to have an upper respiratory infection, maybe stick to water. Your equilibrium is already shot.)
4. If your party allows for a Plus One, pick a suitable one. Their behavior is a reflection of you, so avoid any and all persons that might do any of the above "No Nos" Colby listed. Fly solo if you must. Its not like you aren't alone at the office every other day of the year, who cares for one more night.
5. Office parties are a great opportunity to have a conversation with some of the upper management in your office. However, don't brown-nose. There is no need to suck up to your managers, but feel free to have a polite conversation with them. Say something that they might remember you by, and then walk away. Leave them thinking, "I'm so glad that Aimee works here. She's so nice. And I loved her festive but appropriate green silk shirt!"
6. Mingle with co-workers you don't always talk to. If you are friends with some of your co-workers outside of the office, sure, its fine to stay with them most of the time, but go outside your clique and make some new friends. After all, this is a party with your employer, not a party with your friends.
7. If there is some kind of game, karaoke, or dancing at your party, it is acceptable to participate and even encouraged. However, at no point in time should you have the spotlight. This is not a dance/sing off. There is no million dollar question. Leave your competitive side at home.
8. If you happened to not follow Rule No. 3 and find yourself over-served, at no point in time is it okay to tell anyone other than your Plus One that you are, in fact, intoxicated. Go find your coat, hand your keys to your Plus One, and politely tell everyone you will see them at work.
9.  If the party has a designated time, it is okay to be fashionably late. HOWEVER, it is not okay to be shutting the party down. If you haven't left by the designated "ending time," grab your stuff and head for the door.
10.  Never, ever, ever poke fun at the chosen venue/caterer/DJ, etc. For all you know, it could be your capital partner's favorite hang-out. Heck, they might even own it. Unless you are a master at scarcastic, yet seemingly sincere, comments, keep them to yourself.

The two most important words are right in the title. Office. Party. This is your job. Try to have fun. But this is still your job.

How To: Cook for One

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

I never really had anyone teach me how to cook. I was in high school and home alone one night when the sudden urge to be domestic hit me. I went to the grocery store and somehow arrived on making eggrolls from scratch. You know me, always diving head first into the deep end. My mom came home later that night, found me standing in the kitchen with a rather successful batch of eggrolls that I was pretty proud of. She just stared at me as if contemplating if she brought the wrong baby home from the hospital all those years ago. My mom's favorite part of the kitchen is the takeout menu drawer.

One of my biggest struggles with budgeting (and believe me, that's really saying something since I have a lot of struggles with budgeting to pick from) is that I spend too much on food. Its not that I eat out too much, although I do that too probably, but that I end up wasting money at the grocery store.

Even when I do go to the grocery store and decide to attempt to cook for myself, I am in a constant battle with expiration dates. Fresh produce? I don't stand a chance. Milk? Ugh.

Have you ever had milk the day after the date? Scares the heck out of you, doesn't it? The spoon is trembling as it comes out of the bowl. "It's after the day! I'm taking a big chance! I smelled it, you smelled it, what is it supposed to smell like? It smelled like milk to me." (Go ahead and watch the rest of the Seinfeld bit that this quote comes from to make your day a little better.)

Being the only one in my house, I can't possibly eat or drink all of the fresh items I purchase before they go bad. I've even stooped as low as looking up what kinds of produce dogs can eat to help me get rid of stuff... Brodie loves carrots and bananas. I know. He's weird. 

So here I am, standing in the produce section, rolling my cantaloupe down the aisle per Jerry's advice, (it's fading left, its not ripe yet) trying to come up with a way to not go broke. I'm a few seconds short of a Steve Martin, Father of the Bride-type melt down, ripping out superfluous hot dog buns from the entirely too large pack, and scrambling for ideas to avoid eating leftovers for a week after every time I cook at home. How do we solve the expiration date dilemma without returning to our never-expired college staples of Ramen, Spaghetti-Os, and Kraft Mac & Cheese?

1. Roughly plan out your meals ahead of time so that you know what you need before you go. Walking aimlessly through the grocery store is half the battle.
2. Think about items you can use for more than one meal. Going to buy ground beef? Well, lets have both tacos AND spaghetti this week then. Brown all of the meat at once and your second meal will be super quick.
3. If you know that you're going to be making something that makes too much food and aren't super excited about leftovers, invite a friend over and have them bring some of the ingredients. Split the meal and have some company at the same time.
4. Consider going to a farmer's market for produce. Not only will you get locally grown fresh produce, but they offer it in smaller quantities than the giant bag of grapes at the grocery store meant for 12 instead of 1.
5. Pack your lunches, or at the very least, snacks for work ahead of time so that you know what you're going to use before you start eating out.
6. When you do have leftovers, separate them into single servings so that they're easy to grab and go - you'll end up eating better portion sizes and are more likely to grab them if its fast and you don't have to think about it.
7. MOST IMPORTANTLY - don't go to the grocery store hungry. You'll end up buying everything that sounds good right then and there and wind up with entirely too many groceries when you get home.

Worst comes to worst, frozen pizzas and Kraft Mac & Cheese are still acceptable. And so delicious.

How To: Survive the Holidays

The Holidays are here! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, whether you're ready or not. By the time you'll be reading this, I'll more than likely be on a plane on my way home, snuggled in and ready for my usual horrific turbulence while landing in Denver. I invite you to sit back, relax, and start your holiday weekend off right by laughing at my family's best ever Thanksgiving story.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

It was 1997 and my family was living in Cooper City, Florida, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale. We had just moved to Florida that summer before and were ready to celebrate our first ever Floridian holiday season. Seeing as we hardly knew anyone in South Florida and the rest of our relatives were in the Midwest, my maternal grandparents decided they would come and visit us for Thanksgiving to keep us company.

Our house was strangely one of the only two story houses in our neighborhood. The downstairs featured extremely high ceilings (about 12 feet) and was comprised of the family room, dining room, kitchen, and then there was an "outdoor room" that was a screened in pool/patio under an overhang. I know, you're sitting here saying, "Okay, Aimee, I'm done reading, you've lost your touch. Why on earth do I care about the layout of your house?" Trust me, its important.

Thanksgiving morning looked like a pretty typical day in any American house. My mom and my Grandmother were in the kitchen making side dishes and desserts while my dad and Grand-daddy were left in charge of the meat.

My dad, ever the adventurous type, decided that he was tired of waiting 128745 hours for a turkey to cook in the oven, so he was going to try something new this year. He was going to smoke the turkey. On the grill. (Go ahead, shake your head, cover your eyes, you can see where this is going.)

My brother and I were contently sitting in the family room doing what 11 and 14 year old kids did best in 1997... playing the new Goldeneye 007 for N64. I had this addiction to using the rocket launcher at all times, making my kill count awesome. Except I died every time as well. And lost. Repeatedly. But that's beside the point. Our central location gave us the perfect view of both the kitchen and the grill out on the patio to witness what happened next.

While chatting with Grand-daddy, my mom went out to the grill to check the temperature of the turkey. When she opened the lid, it wasn't just her eyebrows that hit the roof. Flames shot up and hit the ceiling as if a special effect in our 007 game. My mom was just standing there with her bangs and eyebrows about to be singed off, staring wide-eyed at the grill and trying to figure out how to get these massive flames out. Grand-daddy, ever the calm one, walked up to my mom and said these three epic words.

"Close the lid."

Everyone gawked as my mom slowly grabbed the lid to the grill and closed it back over the turkey, thus putting out the flames. Grand-daddy came and turned down the grill, and then removed the turkey. Please imagine Eric and I sitting in the family room, controllers in hand, jaws on the floor, as we're noticing the scorch marks on the ceiling of our back porch, providing evidence, that yes, we just saw 8 foot flames coming off our dinner.

Surely our dinner was doomed, but something like a little charred skin wasn't about to stop my dad and Grand-daddy from providing for their family. They carved and carved and carved that turkey until they removed all of the burnt part and everyone got a little bit of turkey for dinner that night. Thanksgiving had been saved. Funny part is, I'm pretty positive they spent more time carving that dang turkey than it would have taken to just bake it in the oven.

Those scorch marks were still on the ceiling above the grill when we moved out of that house three years later and headed for Indiana. I hope the people who moved in after us made up some kind of good story as to how they got there.

My family still uses the phrase "Close the lid." for any kind of stressful situation. Don't know what to do? Close the lid. Kill the flames. End it.

Are you prepared to handle holiday stress? Mishaps is here to help!

1. Need to travel to see your family like me? Check out How To: Take a Trip with Frugal for some budget travel tips!
2. Tired of your relatives asking you "So what are you doing these days?" Read How To: Walk Uphill Both Ways for advice on readjusting your life plan.
3. Ready to watch football all day? Don't know the first thing about sports? Fake it with How To: Take or Fake an Interest in Sports.
4. Are you the only single one in your family? Change that with How To: Find 50 First Dates. Or at least laugh hysterically at my horrible date story to make yourself feel a little better.
5. Pants don't fit after you ate all of that non-burnt turkey? Get some dieting tips with How To: Move On from Ramen.
6. Need some new things to talk about with your parents other than the weather? Read How To: Have an Adult Relationship with your Parents.
7. If all else fails, close the lid.

My dad said he's going to smoke the turkey this year... Here's hoping he was kidding.

How To: Move On from Ramen

One of the best parts of this time of year is the food that comes with November and December. Pumpkin Spiced lattes, hot chocolate, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas cookies. Yum. My family has coined the phrase "Turkey Pants" for a pair of pants that are a size too large and have a bit of "give" to them. These are the pants you don on Thanksgiving day and generally throughout the Christmas season to allow for all of that extra deliciousness.

A spare tire or a muffin top is not on your Christmas wish list this year? Me either.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

I'm saying this right now - I LOVE FOOD. I love cooking it, I love the smell of it, and I love to eat it. Its a necessity for me.  (Duh.) There are few things I love more than going to dinner with friends or family and talking over a nice glass of whatever and a good meal. Heck, I'm even okay with a paper cup filled with Diet Coke and a Chipotle burrito bowl. Whether or not food loves me back is a completely different story.

Before our Almost Adult days, our first experience with making nutritional choices all by our lonesome was with a pre-paid cafeteria meal plan and all-you-can-eat buffet. Talk about setting us up for failure. 

After graduation, sure, the free buffet is taken away, but then presents the temptation of fast food. Almost Adult life is hectic - I don't have the time or energy to cook a meal every night. Plus, it’s FAST, and more importantly, CHEAP. That's the point, isn't it?

For those of us who have less-than-ideal salaries and jobs that require you to sit in a cube for eight hours a day, the now-sedentary lifestyle change doesn’t help our physique much either. On top of that, going out to lunch every day with your coworkers allows for an escape from the daily grind for an hour.

Now that we're older, wiser, and almost adults, are we just supposed to know how to eat healthier? As Jerry Seinfeld so eloquently put it, "Food is so complicated as an adult. You see people in the supermarket just sweating it out. Nobody knows, "What do I eat? The proteins? The carbs? The fat content? We're just walking up to each other: 'You look good. What do you eat? Maybe I'll eat that.'"

Lots of magazines are chock full of ideas about fat-busting moves and calorie-dropping recipes, but it never really makes you look like the airbrushed chick in those ridiculous poses. Society loads our plates with fad diets, Cook Ourselves Thin cookbooks, and “skinny” drinks and shakes, but at the end of the day how do you decide to eat this, not that?

1. The first and easiest thing you can do to be a little healthier is drink more water. It’s dumb, but it works. Doctors recommend at least 8 glasses of water a day, which is 64 ounces. Depending on where you get your health advice from, some may say as much as half of your body weight (so if you weigh 160, that’s 80 ounces.) Cut up some lemons or limes to break up that much water a day if you need to.
2. Check your food labels. Yes, you can look at the carbs you’re eating or the fat content, but make sure you always check the sodium levels, too. Based on a 2,000 calorie diet, you should be having about 2,400 mg of sodium a day. Although sodium isn’t a deal breaker and comes in a lot of processed foods (especially fast food), it does cause bloating and water retention – ew.
3. Pack your lunch ahead of time. Not only will you save money from not eating out as often, but you’re more likely to be determined to eat better portion sizes when you plan ahead than you are when you get to wherever you’re going to eat and you’re already starving.
4. Eat breakfast. You’re less likely to eat more throughout the day if you don’t start your day hungry.
5. Don’t deprive yourself of any particular food category – just concentrate on eating more fruits, veggies and proteins than you do carbs, dairy or sweets. No one wants to end up sitting on the counter with a crazed look in your eye as you end up downing the entire sleeve of Oreo's instead of just two or three.
6. Cut back your alcohol intake during the week. If you come home from work, eat some dinner, drink a glass of wine or beer, and then sit on the couch for the rest of the night, you’re doing double damage to your body. Not only are you drinking calories, but you’re slowing your metabolism at the same time.
7. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t replace your crappy dieting routine with a new super-strict one. Instead, concentrate on thinking about what you’re eating and enjoying the food you choose. After all, you’re an almost adult. Time to start eating like one.

The Facts and Fictions of Grad School

Mishaps has a bonus this week! A good friend of mine and avid reader of Mishaps emailed me this week that she'd written a guest post for the blog about something I can't give advice on. Thanks Sam! Welcome to the Mishaps family!

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

When Aimee started a blog about twenty-something-mishaps, I knew I needed to write a guest blog about the dreaded subject of “graduate school” (insert Star Wars’ death march here). Some of you may be in grad school, other’s considering it, and the rest of you shouting a resounding “hell no!” Either way, you’ve probably been told a bunch of lies about what grad school is really like – everything from “It’s just like going back to undergrad!” to “You’ll make more money if you get your master’s degree…”.

Let me sort out some of these Facts and Fictions for you.

• Twenty-something purgatory: Fiction. One of the biggest misconceptions about grad school is that you’ll  be partying it up undergrad-style with just a few extra tests/papers. Anyone who claims this probably photoshopped their master’s degree.  Remember when you got to go to happy hour? On weekend vacations? To eat at Whataburger? I don’t – because I’m too poor and too busy. But hey, at least when I’m $50,000 in debt, sobbing on top of my thesis and praying for a salary that will support more than a ramen noodle diet, I can still claim I’m smarter than you. (Replace thesis for bar exam or fancy-business-test… I’d include med school in here, but I don’t have enough adjectives to describe that sadness.) Grad school is a full-time job without a salary.

• Student ≠ Adult: Fiction. Throw away the following items: Nike shorts/athletic shorts (unless you plan to work out in them), over sized t-shirts (especially of the fraternity/sorority variety), UGG boots (unless used for their intended purpose), and all teenage angst accessories (feathers in the hair, unnatural highlights, nose rings). If any of these items make an appearance on your body, you will blend in as one of the thousands of undergrads on campus. There’s nothing more traumatizing than showing up on campus and having to explain to your colleagues/professors that you “really are 25 and will be a [insert profession here] someday.” Despite the raging youth hormones all over campus, you are an adult – you don’t have to commit to this idea 100%, but you at least have to play the part.

• You aren’t a student, you are a colleague: FACT! Okay, this part is awesome-ish. After four years of being at the bottom of the job market food chain and not being taken seriously as an undergrad, people respect you! For real – you go from being janitor Matt Damon, to super-genius “Robin Williams mentors me” Matt Damon. You are not a student, but a colleague. People expect you to know your stuff – you’re the expert now.

• Relationships won't be affected: Fiction. Friends, lovers… Relationships, ugh. As if this one isn’t already a pain when you aren’t in grad school. Something I wish someone would have told me? Maintaining relationships in grad school is hard - you have new time constraints that will dominate your life. Grad school is a vicious relationship serial killer. Expect to be challenged, go through hardships (lots of them), and question the legitimacy of your relationships.  Get ready to embrace 15 minute phone conversations for “study breaks”  and a weird schedule that will only promote contact with your unemployed friends (class three days a week, occasionally working at night, sometimes weekends, yadda yadda). The great thing? You are pretty quick to bond with people in grad school… After all, nobody else has any idea what you’re going through, no matter hard you try to describe it.

• The economy still sucks: Fact. I remember graduating from undergrad, scrambling for a job, and somehow ending up teaching kids in the ghetto how to read. I was one of the few that had a job right off the bat – some of my friends went to grad school/law school right away or had the unfortunate pleasure of waiting tables until a “real job” called them up to the big-boy leagues. When it came to grad school, my thought was simple: More school means getting a job where I won’t imagine my epic, soap opera-style resignation every day. So, I show up on my first day of grad school and what do I discover? Everyone is freaking out about finding a job. Take the advice given to me on day one: “Be prepared to hear the words under-qualified, over-qualified, and we’re currently not hiring.” I’m not saying getting your advanced degree won’t help you – I’m just saying that it isn’t a cure-all for unemployment and probably won’t result in a super-epic salary raise… At least not one that won’t be completely dedicated to your student loans.

What kind of person would I be if I didn’t end on a positive note? At the end of the day, take my advice:

1. Do what you love, love what you do.
2. You probably won’t be a millionaire or get the dream job when you graduate… You’ll have loans and you’ll still have to do grunt work to earn your keep.
3. Four Words: "Just call me Master."
4. Keep a stash of diet coke/red bull/coffee available. Do not add alcohol. If you can find a way to get your caffeine intravenously, more power to you.
5. Experiment with different types of meat in your ramen noodles. It stops things from getting monotonous and makes you feel less poor.
6. Don't let your interests (music/working out/writing) slip away. Grad school has the power to take over your identity if you let it - stay true to yourself, because in two years you'll be free.
7. It’s entirely possible that if you pick the right program, you’ll be one of those people who actually WANTS to go to work every day. It may not happen right away, but it’s a good start.

How To: Have an Adult Relationship with Your Parents

Are you ready for some hilarious Aimee baby photos? They're good ones.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

One of the most important parts of being an Almost Adult and then eventually a Full-Blown Adult is figuring out how to allow your relationship with your parents to change. For those fortunate enough to come from a loving and supportive family like my own, figuring out how to be independent can be a real adjustment.

Let me start this by telling you how awesome my parents are. My mom is amazing. She is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life. She’s always loving, is ready to help in any way she can at the drop of a hat, and is one of my best friends.

My dad is pretty great, too. His laugh is kind of like a sonic boom and is sure to make everyone else laugh, especially because he’s usually laughing at something he just said. Or maybe something I said. He thinks I’m pretty funny. I was extremely lucky to have been born into their family.

Father - Daughter relationships are an interesting breed. My dad's and my conversations usually are focused on one of three things: the weather, my dog, or my car. As much as my dad was ready to have me off his payroll, our relationship has had the most growing pains. I think in his mind I still look like the picture below and he can take care of me always.



I had to include a picture with the infamous 'stache.

I am also digging my sweet knee socks.

My favorite place to hang out when I was little was in my dad's workshop with him. He was always building or fixing something around the house. He even helped my brother and I make our very own Go Kart.

This picture makes me question his parenting skills. Our homemade Go Kart was equipped with foot brakes, meaning I put my feet out and hopefully I would stop. I'm also sporting a bathing suit - excellent road gear. Who needs a helmet when you've got knee pads?  No one likes a skinned knee. Go ahead and push me down that hill, Dad. I'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. (I actually have no recollection of getting hurt, so either I was so traumatized that I suppressed the memory or in fact, I really was fine.)

Other than activities that I joined in on with my brother and dad though, we always struggled a little at finding things in common. Apparently, when I was 5, I missed the biggest clue as to what we would later have in common.

That's right. Fishing. Nice hat dad. You look cool. So do my bangs.

 It took me 17 more years to figure out how to work on my relationship with my dad. I had graduated college and decided that our conversations about the weather were as bleak as a rainy day and needed to be spiced up a little. I didn't really expect my dad to take much of an interest in graphic design, photography or fashion, so what could I do to have more of a relationship with my dad?

We bought TCU season tickets. My dad loves football and I love TCU. It was a perfect fit. I started learning to shoot a shotgun and took up shooting sporting clays with him on the weekend. He loved teaching me and I loved blowing stuff up.

We worked on bird drills with my dog. He loved throwing dummies for Brodie, Brodie loved getting lost on the way back. (He's not the world's best retriever.) We traded in my Minnie Mouse fishing pole for a fresh water fly rod and started wading through the Eagle River near my parents house in Colorado. Somewhere about hip-deep in freezing cold water I realized I had an adult relationship with my dad outside of him washing my car and paying my bills. (Okay so I still let him wash my car. Every parent wants to still feel needed, right?)

Ready for independence and a grown-up relationship with your parents?

1. Its time to start making big decisions on your own.
2. Still feel like you need advice? Do some research on whatever you're trying to decide on beforehand and go in with an idea seeking their opinion rather than asking your parents to fix it for you.
3. If you act like a child, you'll still be treated like one.
4. The easiest way to get rid of "helecopter parents" is to volunteer the information you are willing to share about your life. As long as they feel in the loop, they'll stop hovering.
5. Figure out ways to adapt your relationship with your parents. Focus on common interests rather than being in a dependent relationship.
6. Throw them a bone. Let them take care of you now and then. They are your parents, after all.
7. Be grateful. Thank them for all of the things they've done for you throughout your life and for letting you grow up and figure things out on your own.

I know you read my blog, so thanks for following me!

Happy early Birthday, Dad. I'll always be a Daddy's Girl.

How To: Break Out of a Break Up

Well, I had an entire article written yesterday ready to post today, but now after a recent turn of events in my life I ended up starting from scratch and rewrote an entirely new article for today instead. I had two different topic requests for this week, break ups and eating healthy (which do NOT go hand in hand). If today's article applies to you directly, I grant you one week to wallow in your pity-party party-of-one state of mind, and then check back next week for some eating healthy tips.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

Remember how I hate dating? (You should. More than likely you read that article... it was Mishaps Most Read post! Read it here) Its so full of ups and downs, misunderstandments, and unnecessary drama. And that was all on or before my first date with Air Quote-R. What a good pun. I think my eye just twitched.

For those of us that haven't found the loves of our lives yet, dating really is like a roller coaster. It looks so exciting from a distance, people laughing, taking risks and having the time of their lives, convincing you that yeah, that's what you want to do! And then you see the 2 hour long snail-paced line. Still, it might be worth the wait. So you wait, and you wait, and you wait. You finally get to the ride, you're so excited you can hardly stand it. You hop on, ready to go, and the park closes. You get motion sickness. The ride breaks down. The seat belt won't buckle. Who knows. But for some reason, this ride just wasn't for you.

For women, the portrait that gets painted of us post-breakup is the disheveled mess, up to our eyeballs in gross used tissues, cry-screaming, and a full-on pity party. Its super attractive. And a lot of times, not too far off the plate. You can go around in circles all you want claiming it was for the best, it wouldn't work out anyways, or whatever reasoning you'd like to put into it, but breaking up still sucks, both for the dumper and the dumpee. (What a terrible choice of word for that expression.)

No matter whether you're a high school sophomore, a 20-something, or a 40-something, ending a relationship is never fun. So how do you break out of a break up?

1. You read this post. Even though you can't see me, I'm sitting here patting you on the back, handing you a tissue, and telling you it'll be okay.
2. And then I'm going to roll my eyes at you and tell you to MOVE ON! More than likely, you were correct when you said it wouldn't have worked anyway, or you could do better. You already knew it, its just much more obvious now.
3. Give yourself time to recover. You can talk about needing a rebound all you want, but more than likely you probably need to just sit this one out and concentrate on ditching the baggage first.
4. Although I never really recommend a full-on meltdown, don't overcompensate and prevent yourself from feeling anything. You're allowed to be upset. Your life is changing and sometimes its a little jarring.
5. Ditch the sad music/movies. Do you really think listening to Adele's "Someone Like You" on repeat is going to help? If anything, this will lead directly to the up to your eyes in gross used tissues. My choice: I listen to reggae music. Its calm and I have no clue what the heck they're saying most of the time.
6. Count on your friends. More than likely they'll be like me in Step 2, but they love you. They'll listen.
7. Everything happens for a reason. It really wasn't meant to be. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Pick your expression. Its still true.

Almost Adult Advice




 "You changed your password. Stop entering the old one. --Me."

How To: Avoid Being a Political Dimwit

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

It’s almost November, which, by the way, whoa, that got here fast. Its time for the beginnings of way-too-early Christmas music, hot chocolate, beautiful fall weather, pumpkin-spiced everything, and giving thanks for all that we’ve received over the past year.

A year from now, November in America is no longer about Pilgrims and Indians, but Republicans and Democrats. If only we could make them all sit at the same table and begrudgingly stare at each other, plaster smiles on their faces, let bygones be bygones, wipe the slate clean, and be thankful for the freedoms and lifestyles this great country allows us to have. If the Indians could forgive the Pilgrims for coming in, bringing foreign diseases, stealing their lands and livelihood for a day, can’t we all get along?

Next year is an election year and unless you’ve been living under a rock or are so completely liberal that you already know who you’re voting for without a doubt, then you’ve heard about the musings over who will run against Obama in next years election.

Although this is my blog and I could inform you of my personal views right here and now, I’ve decided that a bad, one-sided political debate is one of my biggest pet peeves, and what's more one-sided than a blog turned political rant? There is nothing quite as uncomfortable and annoying than when you find yourself unintentionally in a heated political conversation that you wish had never begun. The only thing that might be worse than that is a political debate with an uninformed nincompoop. (I think that might be my favorite word ever.)

Every time I think of political debates being unbelievably ridiculous, it makes me think of the old Snickers commercial during the George W. Bush v. Al Gore campaign. The elephant is going on and on about his dad and how they even wear the same size pants, and the donkey replies, “Oh yeah, well I invented pants.” (Don’t have a freakishly weird memory like me? Watch it!)

Each year the debates just go around and around in circles, discussing endlessly candidate’s pasts, their voting records, who’s too wishy-washy, who’s too strict, who’s a mouth-breather, who has better hair, who gets Botox, who NEEDS Botox, blah blah blah.

So how do you get past the pointless stuff and develop your own opinion to avoid sounding like a complete ninny in a political conversation? Here are my tips to think about before you start up an unintentional debate.

1. So you feel a political comment coming on, its right on the tip of your tongue and ready to explode your opinion onto the innocent bystanders around you. Look around. Take into consideration your audience. Do you know their political views already? Will this lead to an unintentional and uncomfortable debate? Brace yourself for the reply. Whatever the outcome, you started it.
2. You like to consider yourself "informed". And by that you mean, you watch strictly Jon Stewart. Or maybe its Fox News. Consider if you're getting your information from a deliberately biased news source before you claim it as fact for your political ammo. All news reports are biased to some extent, so remember to take everything with a grain of salt. You say tomato, i say tomahto. (Not really, that would be obnoxious.)
3. Don't be a dolt. If you're not positive of facts to support your outrageous stance on something, find some. The "Oh, yeah, well..." comeback is so highly respected. Or just don't say anything.
4. If you post your political stance on Facebook or any other networking site, don't get mad when people who disagree with your view comment on it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if you publicize yours, its giving the right to everyone else you know to do the same.
5. You've found yourself in one of those unintentional debates. Need to get out of it quick? Put on those wedgie-inducing big kid pants, swallow your pride and your thoughts and agree to disagree. More than likely you won't change anyone's opinion in a heated debate, so just end it.
6. Always remember, an opinion is personal. It can never be wrong.
7. The best way to avoid being a complete nitwit in a political conversation is to keep your opinions to yourself. Its foolproof. Unless you end up with your shoulder elephant and donkey in the voting booth like the unfortunate guy in the Snickers commercial.

God Bless America and the freedom we have to express our own views. I think you should check back next Wednesday for my newest post, but that's just my opinion.

How To: Take or Fake an Interest in Sports

The World Series starts today!!! I am extremely torn this year seeing as I am both a Rangers and Cardinals fan. If you don't know what the World Series is, know of any Ranger besides Walker Texas or maybe the Lone, and are tempted to stop reading, don't! This article is for you! (For my avid sports-watching television-screaming readers, you'll enjoy this too. Feel free to laugh at my insightful advice.)

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

Who has ever felt lost in a conversation about sports? How many times have the men (or maybe it was me) in your life gone off on a tangent about some sports related topic that you’ve had zero idea what they’re talking about and automatically tune out, wondering instead why squirrels don’t get fat? I know of a handful of you who this applies to right off the bat. (I rhymed.)

This is my absolute favorite time of year. Yes, the weather is finally cooling off. The leaves are changing in other states besides Texas. Here they just fall off. I just had a birthday. The Holidays are right around the corner. But I’m not talking about any of those things. I’m talking about Baseball Playoff Season, College Football Season and the start of Hockey Season. I am infatuated with all three.

For those of you who don’t know me, you’d probably never guess that I am a database for a ridiculous amount of useless sports knowledge, I have my own shotgun, I own all 22 James Bond movies, I scream at the TV while watching sports, I am a relatively good fly fisher, skier, and cycler, and I can more than likely tell you the make and model of a car by the headlights. I also apparently spent too much time with my older brother growing up. (Buddies forever, Eric.)

If you didn’t grow up with an older brother, parents who were crazed fans, or any interest in athletics at all, sports can be a hard thing to take an interest in. It’s daunting and downright boring to watch an entire game without having a single clue as to what’s going on. For women, we ask questions, and sometimes dumb ones, about things we don’t understand. (I didn't think buffaloes had wings?) Without meaning to, this breaks the first and foremost rule of watching sports with dudes. NO TALKING. Especially about things that are unrelated to the game at hand.

Well, that's where I come in. Since I can't personally sit with all of you and explain the rules and happenings of sporting events, I'm giving you guidance and rules to follow so that you won't have time to wonder if its all the cardio that squirrels do that keeps them so fit.

1. So you want to be a fan! First off, pick a sport you want to follow. Which seems least boring? Which has the cutest players? (Generally not hockey, they take a lot of sticks and pucks to the face and teeth. Sorry hockey boys, I still love you.) Now, this is key, pick a team. If you have a local team, go for that. So now you are not only a (insert sport here) fan, but a (insert team here) fan. You can even pick a favorite player. BE BRAVE! Pick one that isn't everyone's favorite. Learn a few stats about him or her and you'll really impress people when they ask you who your favorite is. EXAMPLE: My favorite St Louis Cardinals player is Yadier Molina. He's the youngest of the Catching Molina Brothers and has won the Golden Glove Award. He hits better in the Post-Season and his ability to pick people off bases from home plate makes him fan-FREAKIN'-tabulous. (See? It sounds like I know what the heck I'm talking about and that's just about one player. I could have read a Wikipedia article about him and gotten all of that info in the summary.)
2. Dress in your teams colors. You don't have to go out and buy gear that says your team's name plastered across your chest, but always check to make sure you aren't accidentally wearing the opposing teams colors. Its poor form to be wearing blue and red to a TCU-SMU game. GO FROGS!
3. The key to looking like a sports fan is your participation in the game. Lean forward in your seat, cheer with the crowd, bite your nails a little and insert random state-the-obvious yells at the players. Repetition works wonders here. "Go! GO!"
4. High five the people around you that are also rooting for the same team as you. Get involved! Be excited!
5. If you have an iPhone, download ESPN Score Center. You can set it up to have alerts as to what your team's final score of the game was, so you'll always sound prepared even if you didn't watch the game. (EXAMPLE: Man, I can't believe I missed last night's game... The Rangers STOMPED the Tigers! 15-5? Geez Louise!) You sound like a pro!
6. I haven't convinced you, you still don't want to be a fan. Live games are fun no matter what the sport or team. Pick a team, figure out how they score (be aware of switching ends at breaks in the game...) and keep drinking heavily. Cheer with the crowd! Enjoy the company!
7. Have fun! Sports are supposed to be entertainment, so consider yourself entertained. 

If you need me, I'll be sitting on my couch, leaning forward, biting my nails, screaming at the TV for the next week or so. GO RANG-INALS!

How To: Take a Trip with Frugal

Welcome back readers! Hopefully you enjoyed my birthday as much as I did. Sorry for those of you in Dallas for the freak thunderstorm… my birthday is infamous for natural disasters. Hurricanes, tornadoes, out-of-season snow storms, you name it, its happened. Consider yourself lucky that all we had were a few power outages.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

One of the (only) perks of being 25 is that now I can rent a car!! WOO! So what’s happening this week?? Mishaps is hitting the road!

Okay, so I’m not really renting a car. Lets face it, my new relationship with Frugal has me on a budget for traveling as well. I know. He's demanding.

Having a “real job” puts a kink in travel plans. There’s this mostly wonderful and partly awful thing called Paid Time Off that really messes with my head. I apparently have to plan a year ahead of time for when I intend on taking time off. My style has always been more “just wing it,” spur of the moment, than that. Instead, I’m sitting here with my work calendar pouring over how many hours I’ll have accrued of PTO by when. Carry the two, divide by four?

So let me plan for Christmas in June. No big deal. I’m also a snot when it comes to Christmas because I’m sorry, the mountains, fresh powder for skiing, Brodie accidentally burying himself in the snow, and my home are calling my name so badly I just can’t sit in my little cube.

In between now and then, I decided the best way to use my PTO is to take random three day weekends here and there, using one day at a time to get maximum amount of vacations. I went home to Colorado with one, to a family reunion with another, took a third last week for a three-day birthday, scheduled one for a wedding weekend in Florida, and then my one splurge for the year.

You (man I struggled to not say y’all there.) met Colby last week. I met her when I went to school freshman year in Boston and we’ve stayed in contact for 6 years now. Tomorrow, I’m headed to see her.

Boston; where phonetics and pronunciation have nothing to do with each other. The home of Cheers and Fenway Park, the real Patriots, Plymouth Rock, Harvard and more college students than you can possibly imagine. Signs in neighborhoods read “Thickly Settled” instead of warning to watch for children. Speed bumps are Speed Humps (ha), and round-abouts are rotaries. How I ever drove in Boston, I don’t know. The word “wicked” is used as a superlative for everything. Wicked smart. Wicked awful. Wicked funny.

I feel like I need to start dropping my Rs and put them in words that have no Rs just to get me back in the Northeast state of mind. Why yes, I’m going to Havahd Yahd, to get a slice of pizzer. Maybe I’ll take a trip to Peabuhdy (Peabody) or Wuhster (Worcester… that one always blew my mind). Its not really that bad… usually.

So here are my budget travel tips for the week:

1. If you're intending on flying, don't do it by the seat of your pants. Look at tickets at least 3 weeks in advance for better price rates. If your travel dates are flexible, look around to see if its cheaper to leave the night before/morning after/whatever.
2. Hotel rooms are expensive. Either get a hotel room with a few friends to divvy up the cost or do what I do; stay with friends. 
3. Always travel with at least a little cash. You never know what situations you may run into and having nothing but plastic doesn't always work.
4. Sign up for email alerts with airlines. I know American Airlines sends me emails all the time about great travel deals and ways to earn more miles. Fill out a survey for 2,000 additional miles? I can handle that.
5. Look into credit cards with rewards programs. Check out Award Wallet (the link is on the left under Lifesavers for Almost Adults) and use it to track all of your frequent flyer miles and credit card rewards points all in one spot. How handy!
6. Gas prices aren't quite as bad. How about a road trip? MapQuest even offers a way to estimate the cost of the amount of gas you'd need to get from point A to point B.
7. Don't waste money on going out for breakfast/lunch/dinner every day. Bring some simple snacks you can eat for at least one of your meals to cut down on spending while you're gone. Frugal will love you for it.

Ok. I really need to go pack for Boston. I'm wicked excited.

How To: Be a Long-Distance Friend

Happy Birthday to me! I have the best friends ever. Their birthday present to me this year was a guest post, so here's what they had to say.

BRAD

Weren't we attractive? Oh middle school.

For over half my life, I've had the pleasure of calling Aimee one of my best friends. Ever since the day we met, it seemed like we just clicked. Maybe it was because I finally found someone who would talk more than me. Maybe it was because I was afraid she’d beat me up since she was about a foot taller than me. It was probably a combination of several different things but, never the less, we became close. We were some of the most awkward kids in the 8th grade but we definitely thought we were the coolest. I'm sure we didn't help our case by making what we thought were witty jokes that seemed to only make us laugh.

Turning the clock forward a little closer to the present, we are closer now than when we lived up the street from one another. Aimee always fell in that category of people that I could go months without talking to and, when we finally would get the chance, it was like we had spoken the day before. I remember when Jen (my now wife) and I started dating, she was pretty jealous of our friendship. I think it was partly because there was another girl in my life who, for all intensive purposes, was my go-to-girl. Jen would always tell me that she was worried that when she finally met her, Aimee wouldn't like her. She would always give me funny looks when we would talk on the phone and, as we were hanging up, I would say, “Love you babe! Bye!"

As it turns out, the day they finally met was actually two days before mine and Jen's wedding. I remember how nervous she was as we drove to the restaurant to meet up with Aimee, Catherine, and Colby. (you’ll meet them after me, I was here first, so I get to go first.) From the second they hugged, they are both huggers so it wasn't weird, it seemed as though they had been friends for almost as long and Aimee and I. (Probably due to how much one had to hear about the other) By the end of the dinner, they were even planning a girl’s weekend without me! As we were leaving, Jen said to me, “I can’t believe I was ever worried about not getting along with her! She is so awesome!” I simply replied, “Now you know why I love her so much.”

I feel like before they met, Jen just accepted the fact that I would say, “Love you” to Aimee when we would talk on the phone or text. Now, after meeting each other and seeing what a great person she is, I think Jen fully understands why I say it. She’s the only other woman in my life besides my wife (and mother/mother-in-law/other significant female family members) that makes me want to tell her that I love her and mean it every time.

Aimee, you are the best friend someone could ask for and I can’t wait to share the rest of my life with you too. Happy Birthday!

CATHERINE

Freshman year of High School. Super cute, huh?

 Not only are we 25 now, but Aimee and I have been best friends for ten years.  During the course of a decade I've learned some great things from her, and the main thing is that all you need in life in that one friend who'll listen to you bitch about something stupid, make you laugh out loud at inappropriate moments, and who will talk you in to public humiliation.

I met Aimee on our first day of high school.  Aimee had just moved to Indiana, and I was starting at a new school.  So there we sat in an Honors English class (how I ended up in there I couldn’t tell you), when our teacher uttered the two most dreaded words for any awkward, friendless, new student.  Group project.  Being the two new kids, Mrs. Bowling, bless her, put the two of us together, and that was that.

The one project turned into many over the course of the year, each one somehow more mortifying then the last.  Perhaps the best (or worst) project happened when the class was asked to re-enact a scene from Romeo and Juliet.  Immediately there seems to be trouble there for us to be partners, but we figured out that we could do one scene together- the fight scene.

So one evening we were figuring out how best to do this, and decided that it would be hilarious to make it a modern day fight in a gym.  So we asked Aimee’s mother to grab the video camera (we should’ve known that if we weren’t willing to do this live, recording it wasn’t a good alternative).  Now to give you a little visual of this, let’s just say the scene involved Sock-em-Boppers, treadmills, and a complete blooper reel.  Sad to say the teacher kept it.  To this day I am mortified that this tape is out there somewhere.

This was just one of many a hilarious, embarassing, and unforgettable memory of my best friend. So in answer to those snobby girls in high school- "I have friend! ..And she's pretty awesome."

Happy birthday Aimee.  I am geniunely afraid of the story I’ll post for your 35th.

COLBY

Freshman year of college...
Colby's first trip to Texas.

Let me start this off by saying I have THE worst memory EVER. I tend to forget large chunks of my life; maybe for my benefit, I don't know. So not to sound like a terrible friend I really needed to dig deep on this one. I don't remember officially meeting Aimee, no seriously, and don't I sound like a jerk saying that?! But I don't, I don't know if it was move-in day, a week later, or even a month later, but to me, that part doesn't matter. The parts that came after do.

My favorite part of having Aimee freshman year at Bentley was that she had the same taste for life I did. I preferred eating my entire medium thin crust Dominos pizza, so did Aimee. I preferred two extra shots in my margarita, so did Aimee. Aimee also came prepared for such events, she had a blender; however we did have to turn up the music so to drown out the crunch of ice and whirring sound that followed. Aimee also has the same love for movies I do, resulting in entire conversations in movie quotes. People get annoyed by it; I say watch Brother Bear and join in!

Aimee was also blessed, as a freshman, to have had a motor vehicle on campus. AWESOME. We'd take trips to Target, blasting country music the whole way. She still likes to brag that she expanded my country pallet beyond the ever popular Kenny Chesney. And yes, I think his tractor is very sexy. This gorgeous red Jeep had the unfortunate experience of coming in close contact with a Bentley dumpster; “Ahh! Salam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please come closer. Too close! A little too close.” A typical Bentley retard decided to go the wrong way in a one way – this never ends well. The dumpster’s handle scraped down the passenger side of the Jeep as Aimee veered around the idiot. Making light of the situation, we got to have an annunciation lesson as we drove down I95 to the collision center. Listening to Aimee try and pronounce the town names as we went was priceless: Ponkapoag, Peabody(not as easy as it looks), Worcester, Gloucester and various others.

Getting back to my brain devoid of memories, I don’t remember the day Aimee told me she wasn’t coming back to Bentley. As a woman in love, I was in denial. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person and here she was, up and leaving me. Silly me for thinking this magnificent creature didn’t share my vast emotions. We were married spring of Sophomore year and had a fabulous honeymoon in Florida (at my grandparent’s condo but hey, no hotel costs!) It was there I got to show off my fantastic driving skills. Aimee and I even made up a song (to be sung to the tune of Hellogoodbye’s Here In Your Arms):

“I like, where we are, when we drive, in your golf cart. I like, where we are, here. Where you are the one, the one, who sits next to me. Whispers, “Hello, you’re driving quite terribly.” I fell right out, when you turned so suddenly. But there’s no place I’d rather be but here in your golf cart.”

I think it’s safe to say, I drove her crazy. My Aimsicle and I (now that we were married, a pet name seemed appropriate) spent our days sunbathing, playing Wii, and gossiping about boys; my current boyfriend was also in Florida for Spring Break and had invited another lady as his guest (our love lives are beyond complicated).

The next three years were rough, being newlyweds and all, we didn’t see each other. We were both busy finishing school, getting a job, keeping that job, buying our babies, trying to figure out the meaning of being an “adult”.

Then, a MIRACLE happened. NEW YORK CITY – the city of lights – brought us back together again. Aimee and her “friends of the ages” all met in one location for a weekend of chaos. We drank margaritas which we’re convinced were made with grain alcohol, crashed a Lord of the Rings party, held the Statue of Liberty in our hands, shopped, and walked our boots off. After that, Aimee and I vowed to never go more than six months between visits.

The next one was Nashville, TN. I was her date (naturally) for her ex-boyfriend’s wedding (HEY BRAD!). This event was most memorable and down-right side-splitting. But that story needs its own post so I’ll let Aimee tell that one (also my brain is story-telling retarded, not being able to remember everything and all).

So here I am, my wifey turning 25, and this time next week she will be in my hometown, Boston. If she’s not careful, Aimee and that beautiful new Bendel of hers won’t make it back to Texas.

To my friend, my sister, my wife, my other half, my therapist, my personal shopper, Happy 25^th Birthday.