This is Too Adult: Health Insurance

So if we're going to start over, first off, I need to get rid of the How To-type posts, because lately I'm finding myself in extremely unfamiliar territory that even I don't know how to help anyone else navigate through, except maybe provide a little humor to those of you who have either:

1. Been there
2. Done that,
3. Need a good laugh at someone else's expense

Like choosing health insurance. What the heck. First off, let me clarify this is 100% not any sort of political post, but just how it relates to me. We've heard everyone talking about Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act, which, FYI, are the same thing. But in all honestly, not only am I confused about healthcare changes, but just IN GENERAL. At least I'm not this confused.

After getting married a few months ago, all of the sudden I was presented with way too many options.  And not just the options I was prepared for, like do I want to keep my last name or change it to his? Or maybe come up with some hybrid: Vanler? Milance? Should I change Brodie's name? Does he care? 

Now I also have to choose things like how to file our taxes, creating joint bank accounts, choosing healthcare options, cosigning loans, and a whole long list of things that baffle me. I have learned quickly that my husband really looks to me to do the research and present him with our options, as apparently he knows me well enough to know that even if he does the research, the enthusiastic Googler in me will come up with 50 of the most hair-brained questions he never would have thought of in the first place and I'll end up looking it up myself anyway. (I'm annoying. I know it. I'm glad he chose to deal with it.) 

But health insurance is where I really lost it. We are both lucky enough to have jobs that offer benefits plans that include healthcare coverage and help pay for it. But for the first time in my Almost Adult life, cost wasn't the main driving factor. All of the sudden, we have two incomes that equal a lot more than what I'm used to after living alone for so long before getting married. Now I'm presented with the choice of comparing options and looking at things like deductibles and coverage rates and stop/loss amounts. Have I lost you? Good.

Because this is where I lost myself. I learned a whole lot about my company's coverage this last year after my ACL surgery. Mostly that I didn't have enough physical therapy allowed for such a major surgery, which sucked a big one. If you're lucky, you've never had to put your health insurance coverage to the test and don't know that much about it. 

Well, here's what I've learned are the three most important financial questions when looking at health insurance plans that change the amounts of your monthly premium rates: 

1. Deductible: The amount you are required to pay before insurance kicks in to cover the majority of major medical expenses, like surgeries or associated costs. My MRIs, X-rays and stuff like that went towards the deductible, but not regular visits that you pay a co-pay for. 
2. Coinsurance Rates: This is a percentage that your insurance pays for medical expenses AFTER you've met your deductible. For instance, if your deductible is $1,000 and your coinsurance rate is listed as 80%, then after you pay your initial $1,000 in expenses, your insurance will kick in and cover 80% of your remaining expenses, leaving you with the responsibility of paying for 20% of the excess costs. I'd give you examples, but whatever, hopefully you get the gist.
3. Coinsurance Stop/Loss Amounts: This is the real kicker. The stop/loss amount is listed as the MAX that you can pay after your deductible. So, lets say your stop/loss amount is $3,000, that means AFTER you've met your deductible ($1,000), your portion of the excess expenses (20%) CANNOT exceed $3,000. That means your max out of pocket expense would be $4,000. The quicker you get to that Stop/Loss amount, the faster you pay nothin'.

This is where the real differences started to show. Our plans had big differences in deductibles and stop/loss amounts, and would definitely make a difference financially if we had an incident come up, like another torn ACL (please, no), that would put our insurance to the test.

So what do you do? Pay the higher monthly premium rate for the lower deductible? Choose the plan with the lowest stop/loss amount? Does the coverage rate make a difference? I DON'T KNOW. 

Wanna know how I chose our plan? The super-adult-ish way. I put my hand over my eyes and pointed to where the plan information was sitting on the table and yelled, "This one!" 

DISCLAIMER: Please don't yell at me if I got any of this wrong. I'm still confused. Health insurance is too adult. 

How To: Spahh

I was pleasantly surprised at work last week to find out that I'm getting a bonus on this coming paycheck! My first thought was "I'm SO going to pay off my credit card!" My second thought was "And get a pedicure!" My third thought was "Wow, my life is lame." Clearly, my priorities are in line. 

Getting regular manicures/pedicures is something that's had to been put on hold in my life as I've been working on my house and living on a tighter budget. This is extremely sad. I am a big fan of being pampered.

Despite the fact that I'm trying to not get regular spa treatments, I also refuse to walk around with naked finger/toe nails. Not gonna happen. This is where this week's blogs come in handy. I've done research for you on how to pamper yourself at home for a fraction of the cost you'd spend at a spa/salon! YAY ME! You're welcome. 

1. Who doesn't love having their hair blown out perfectly straight and silky smooth? I sure do. I, however, can't afford to just go to the salon and have my hair done every weekend. If you've ever seen me get ready to go out, you've probably commented on the ridiculous size of the round brush I use. Yep, all the way on the right.. I'm always surprised by the number of girls who've told me that they don't have the slightest idea how/when to use a round brush. Mastering the use of one is essential to the at-home blowout. Check out this page for tips on how to use a round brush and what to do first.
2. If you're anything like me, you're constantly trying to grow your hair out from the last time you thought you wanted short hair. Since my hair is extremely fine and prone to breakage, I've become a big fan of hair masks/conditioning treatments. Never tried it? Prepare yourself for silky smooth, stronger hair with less split ends. It's AWESOME. The ingredients for at-home hair masks creep me out sometimes (full-fat mayo is one of the most recommended ingredients!) but they really do work. Check out this page for a few different types of masks to figure out which one would be best for your needs.
3. Not much is worse than waking up with super puffy eyes. One of the best things you can do to de-puff your eyes is soak a wash cloth in cool chamomile tea. The chamomile acts as an anti-inflammatory and will help the puffiness go away.
4. You know what is worse than puffy eyes? A big ol' zit right in the middle of your face. No fear! Get rid of zits with ASPIRIN. I'm not joking - same idea as the chamomile tea. Aspirin works as an anti-inflammatory to get rid of the redness associated with stupid acne. Here's how to do it.
5. You don't have to fork out the money on waxing to avoid those horrible razor burn bumps on your bikini line and under arms. Use Veet instead! They offer different types of hair removal creams including ones for sensitive skin. MAKE SURE YOU READ THE DIRECTIONS so you don't end up burning yourself and looking even dumber than if you had razor burn. 
6. Seeing as how much I love sandals, or preferably no shoes, my heels are constantly rough. Its gross. I love getting pedicures and feeling them so soft and smooth again, but as part of my new budget, I can't go very often. So how do you get silky spa-quality feet at home? Easy. Head out to Target and buy one of these things (the cheese grater looking tool) as well as a pumice rock. Pull the plug in your shower (as if you were going to take a bath) before you shower to let your feet soak in a few inches of water the entire time you're cleaning off. When you're done with your shower, turn it off and pop a squat on the side of the tub. Lather up your feet and scrub away, first with the cheese grater, second with the pumice stone. When you get all of that dried skin off, hop out and dry your feet really well. Lather on some thick lotion/cream and put on socks to wear for the next half hour to lock in the moisture. You'll have soft feet in no time.
7. Never nick your not-quite-dry nails again. After finishing painting your nails at home, let them air dry for about 2 minutes. Next, dunk your nails in ice cold water for 3 minutes. The ice water hardens the nail polish and locks it in place. No more smudging!

Here are some more at-home spa treatment ideas too in case I haven't listed something you had in mind.  I'm off to spahh myself until that bonus check comes through. 

How To: Speak On Command

Hey guys. Brodie here. My mom has been trying to teach me the command SPEAK. Its hard for me to explain to her that my bark is super loud and I like to save it for when I'm pretending to be brave and protecting her against whatever is ringing the doorbell outside. Just because I won't speak on command doesn't mean that I can't write though!

First off, nice to meet you. I hear my mom talk about how much she loves all of you for reading this thing every week. I'm glad you make her happy. So do I. Its super easy. All I have to do is pretend like I forgot a toy was on the floor and then pounce on it. She laughs every time without fail. 

So as I was between naps yesterday patiently awaiting her return I decided I could save her a little time and write an article this week. She does so much for me, it seemed the least I could do to help out. I'm so considerate, right?

The absolute best part about this new house that we bought is my backyard. Its awesome! Especially now that I've figured out this whole "my door" thing. I mean, it makes sense. Its the right height for me. Its a little squishy on the sides for my taste, but I haven't gotten stuck yet. I keep laughing at my bestie Buddy when he won't go through my door. I mean, come on dude, I'm younger, bigger and wider than you. If I can do it, so can you. He'll figure it out some day. 

They keep trying to give him treats to get him to go through. If only he could figure out the number of treats it really means just to jump through this thing - JACKPOT. Its like taking sticks from a baby. I did that last week. That little girl didn't need a stick... Me on the other hand. I'd never seen such a beautiful stick before.

Now all I can think about are sticks. But you humans don't seem to care too much about sticks. You just keep throwing them away from you. I mean, really, how many times do I have to give it back to you for you to understand how amazing these little trees are?

But thats beside the point. This isn't helping you or Mom. However, I did hear her having a conversation earlier this week talking about how expensive it is to have an awesome pup like me. I chose to ignore when she called me "the most expensive free thing" she'd ever had. Good thing I love her kind-of-a-lot already.

If you're considering making the best decision of your life and adopting a pup like me, here are the things you need to consider budget-wise.

1. I like to eat. A LOT. In fact, my middle name is Hoover. I think it's a joke about the way I eat, but I just choose to think she named me after the President because I'm smart. And just like you humans, the better quality food you eat, the more expensive it is. Mom doesn't have caviar and champagne every day, and neither do I. However, I do like something better than McDonalds. The instructions for how much you should feed us are usually on the bag. It depends on the size of my friend that you adopt, but for my big self, I cost about $45 a month in food.
2. I have to go to the doctor too, you know. And I'm not cheap. Twice a year I have to go pretend to be brave while I get shots to make sure I don't get sick or cause other friends to get sick. It stinks. I hate it. Mom put me on a monthly plan though now (Banfield's Wellness Plan) that makes it a monthly rate instead of just lump sums for vet visits. Its roughly about $30 a month per friend.
3. Its all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone. This one time I was following my mom through a door and the door slammed on my tail. It hurt so bad. I cried like a baby (but I was still, so it doesn't make me any less manly), had to go to the emergency room, got a cast and had to be mopey for two weeks. It was horrible. I don't know who I am without my tail knocking things over and swaying in the wind. I'd budget about an extra $150-300 for accidents a year JUST IN CASE. Stay safe, my friends.
4. I really like things to chew on. Especially since its apparently frowned upon to chew on TV remotes. They tasted kinda funny anyway, so I guess I'm okay with these rawhide things. Mom buys them in packs of 5 from the store. Estimate another $15 for something special for my friends to chew on a month if you'd rather it not be on your shoes or TV remotes.
5. If you don't have a backyard like mine, please remember that having me costs you an extra 15 minutes in the morning to take me outside. Just like you, I've gotta GO when I wake up. I don't make you hold it - so don't make me. It won't end well, I promise.
6. Some pups are like my bud Buddy and need haircuts. I've heard about how expensive those can be. Take into consideration whether my friend would need haircuts or not as an additional expense. 
7. I don't need haircuts, but my hair falls out. All over the house. On Sunday, Buddy and I were laying there staring at each other while on hiatus from Squirrel Patrol and a huge ball of his and my extra fur rolled in between us. I felt like a gunslinger. Ooo-wee-oo-wee-oooooo. You should probably budget for some kind of vacuum that specializes in pet hair pickup if you don't want tumble-fuzz everywhere.  Mom uses a Swiffer Vac. You should probably buy one.

The number one thing to remember about me and my friends though - we are SO worth it. Mom always seems a little happier when I put my head in her lap and give her a few kisses to let her know she's my favorite. If you can afford to give one of my friends a good life, I would recommend it. We guarantee a return on your investment. We'll love you 'til the day we die, no matter what.

I think I hear a squirrel. GOTTA GO.

Lieutenant Brodie Miller and Sergeant Buddy Brogdon

of the First Infantry, Squirrel Fighting devision.

How To: Make a Mountain from a Mole Hill

One lesson I have definitely learned while being an Almost Adult is to surround myself with people that have different skills than me. Today's article was written with the assistance of my long-time bestie, Brad, who happens to be a financial advisor. Brad is stepping in this week to help advise you (and me) with some money-saving tips.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

Okay, so I have a confession to make. I have a new obsession with house hunting. Its a problem. Every time I hear the dogs barking upstairs and the fire trucks go blazing down my street at night, I flip on HGTV and end up daydreaming of the house that I will one day own and refinish room by room. It. Will. Be. Awesome. Sorry, Dad, for all of the emails you get about all of the houses I have fallen in love with in the meantime.

One teensy weensy, itty bitty hiccup. Houses are really freaking expensive. And I don't have any money.

Has anyone else realized how unbelievably hard it is to be disciplined about saving money? Maybe I just have a shopping problem (Fact. I definitely do.) and eat out too much, but man, it is hard to convince myself each month to make that transfer of funds to my savings after all of my bills are paid and my bank account continues to dwindle all on its own without my assisting it by saving even just a little.

This weekend I drove around and was looking at neighborhoods that I might be interested in purchasing a home in (I told you I have a problem) and decided it was time to start working on this dream becoming a reality. I needed to work a little harder on saving some money.

I quickly decided that one of the better resources I had available to me was my best friend Brad and decided to ask his advice on how to make a mountain from a mole hill. Although my savings is more like an ant hill than a mole hill.

Here's what I learned:

1. Every penny counts. $50 a pay check will turn into $1,300 over the course of a year without severely impacting your quality of life in the meantime. Start small by setting your bank account to automatically transfer a reasonable amount of money from your paycheck.
2. Always have an "emergency fund". Try to save for a cushion account in case you would lose your job or transfer jobs and be without your usual paycheck for the month. Brad suggested six months worth of expenses. I suggest putting your head between your knees or breathing into a paper bag. And not losing your job.
3. Don't tempt yourself. A lot of banking websites have a feature that allows you to "hide" your savings account from yourself so that you don't see the money in there. Better yet, open a separate savings or investment account dedicated towards making large purchases that you don't have every day access to. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. Set yourself up with a realistic budget with help from Mishaps' How To: Pay your Bills Bills Bills. Figure out how much you REALLY need a month and then set up your saving goal accordingly. Mint.com is both a miracle-worker and a chop-buster. If you're embarrassed to look at your finances and your Pie Chart of Shame, well, its never too late to start over and try again.
5. Check out your 401(k) benefits if you have them through your company (or 403(b) for those of you that work for schools/non-profits). Figure out what the max is that your company will match your contribution and if that is not some absurdly high number, consider making the full payment towards it. Its like free money from your company. Plus, Brad claims that, on average, every 7 years you wait to start saving money, you are cutting your retirement in half. He said something about the rule of 72. If you have no idea what that is, me neither. Google it if you need some proof or help with insomnia.
6. Don't count on bonuses, tax returns or any sort of extra income. Use it to pay down debts or put it directly into your savings account instead. You don't really need that new (fill in the blank with whatever you're interested in), do you? Its a great way to put yourself ahead of Your Plan and stay on track.
7. If you're having a full blown Nervy B bordering on a Complete Ditherspaz, me too. Saving is a gradual process; it doesn't happen overnight. Work on living your life on a budget and save what you can. Anything is better than nothing. Plus, you're an Almost Adult. Part of being an Almost Adult is being broke for a bit.

Think of how awesome it will feel when you aren't embarrassed to look at your bank account. Especially when I'm sitting on my cutely decorated and landscaped back porch looking at the house that I paid for with my own money. 'Til then, if you live above me, please figure out a way for your dog to stop barking so I can stop having to drown you out with HGTV.

How To: Pay Your Bills, Bills, Bills

Ok so I'm being overly ambitious and decided I am ready to post Article Number Two. Yes, I know its Friday and I still have another five days before I am supposed to post again. For those of you who know me, I'm sure its shocking to find out that sometimes I can be an over-achiever.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

This is by far my least favorite topic, my Achilles’ heel, the bane of my adult life… Budgeting. (In my head, this would be followed by an ominous “dun dun duuuuuuun.”) Wouldn’t it be nice to have the Golden Ticket and never have to worry about finances ever again? For me, and a majority of other recent grads, this is definitely not the case.

I ended my relationship with Kinda Broke: Student Edition the day I decided it was time to be financially independent. Despite the fact that I recognize all of the things that were terribly wrong with Kinda Broke and understood that I had outgrown that relationship, I still miss our good days.

On the rebound, I picked up with Completely Broke shortly after and we have been loyal companions for a while now. A few months ago, I decided it was time to have a sit down talk and discuss our differences. Since then, we’ve been in therapy. It was time for a budget.

Living alone added a whole new set of problems to the mix; no longer splitting things like cable bills and electricity had me staring wide-eyed at my empty bank account. I half expected my wallet to have tumble weeds rolling through it, it was so deserted. I finally sat down one night, pulled out my computer and set to work figuring out how to make this all work.

If you haven’t heard of Mint.com (there is a link on the left under Lifesavers for Almost Adults), it is an absolute miracle. I finally decided I needed to give Frugal a fair shot, seeing as how Completely Broke and I were not getting along so well. After inputting all of my information, I took a look at my “Trends”, and the most obvious Trend is that I am a horrible budgeter. Mint was nice enough to provide me with a little pie chart to show me just exactly how inadequate I am at budgeting too!

After I got over loathing Mint and my denial at how dreadful I really am at this, it was time to say goodbye to Completely Broke. My grieving was over and I found myself at the seventh and final stage: Acceptance. Mint offers handy options for laying out a budget, as well as guidelines to help you save for a rainy day, buy a house, pay off debts, invest, pick your nose, etc.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Lay out your monthly bills and work backwards through your budget. Rent, car payments, gas, electricity, water, phone, cable, insurance, etc. all come first. Figure out exactly how much you will spend monthly and plan ahead.
2. If you’re using Mint, check out your little Pie Chart of Shame and figure out where else you’re spending the most money. Is it food? Shopping? Bars? Plan ahead for that category.
3. Cash is easier to keep track of and Mint even has a handy iPhone app that you can enter in how much you spent when using cash as well. The little smarty-pants even asks if it should split it out of your most recent ATM withdrawal. Give yourself a weekly cash limit for things like food and then when it runs out, it’s apparently time to diet.
4. Check your bills to see if any of them have adjustable due dates. My rent is always due on the first of the month, so I like to set my other larger bills to be in the middle of the month since I get paid semi-monthly. If you get paid on a set date, then make the due date shortly after that so you always know you have enough money to cover those particular bills. Its easier to pay it and deal with Broke than it is to be diligent about saving sometimes.
5. If you have more than one credit card, check your interest rates. Always pay the higher ones off first, even if it has a lower balance than some of the other ones! Store credit cards are generally the worst, so pay ‘em off.
6. Don’t be unrealistic with your budget! The hardest part is balancing the obstacle of budgeting with the fact that I still like to do things that cost money. Make a list of extra areas and rank them by priority to you. For me, I have to budget for buying books and getting my nails done. I know. Laugh, shake your head at me, tell me I’m completely ridiculous.
7. Can you pay my bills? Especially these automo’bills. They’re the worst.