How To: Have an Adult Relationship with Your Parents

Are you ready for some hilarious Aimee baby photos? They're good ones.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

One of the most important parts of being an Almost Adult and then eventually a Full-Blown Adult is figuring out how to allow your relationship with your parents to change. For those fortunate enough to come from a loving and supportive family like my own, figuring out how to be independent can be a real adjustment.

Let me start this by telling you how awesome my parents are. My mom is amazing. She is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life. She’s always loving, is ready to help in any way she can at the drop of a hat, and is one of my best friends.

My dad is pretty great, too. His laugh is kind of like a sonic boom and is sure to make everyone else laugh, especially because he’s usually laughing at something he just said. Or maybe something I said. He thinks I’m pretty funny. I was extremely lucky to have been born into their family.

Father - Daughter relationships are an interesting breed. My dad's and my conversations usually are focused on one of three things: the weather, my dog, or my car. As much as my dad was ready to have me off his payroll, our relationship has had the most growing pains. I think in his mind I still look like the picture below and he can take care of me always.



I had to include a picture with the infamous 'stache.

I am also digging my sweet knee socks.

My favorite place to hang out when I was little was in my dad's workshop with him. He was always building or fixing something around the house. He even helped my brother and I make our very own Go Kart.

This picture makes me question his parenting skills. Our homemade Go Kart was equipped with foot brakes, meaning I put my feet out and hopefully I would stop. I'm also sporting a bathing suit - excellent road gear. Who needs a helmet when you've got knee pads?  No one likes a skinned knee. Go ahead and push me down that hill, Dad. I'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. (I actually have no recollection of getting hurt, so either I was so traumatized that I suppressed the memory or in fact, I really was fine.)

Other than activities that I joined in on with my brother and dad though, we always struggled a little at finding things in common. Apparently, when I was 5, I missed the biggest clue as to what we would later have in common.

That's right. Fishing. Nice hat dad. You look cool. So do my bangs.

 It took me 17 more years to figure out how to work on my relationship with my dad. I had graduated college and decided that our conversations about the weather were as bleak as a rainy day and needed to be spiced up a little. I didn't really expect my dad to take much of an interest in graphic design, photography or fashion, so what could I do to have more of a relationship with my dad?

We bought TCU season tickets. My dad loves football and I love TCU. It was a perfect fit. I started learning to shoot a shotgun and took up shooting sporting clays with him on the weekend. He loved teaching me and I loved blowing stuff up.

We worked on bird drills with my dog. He loved throwing dummies for Brodie, Brodie loved getting lost on the way back. (He's not the world's best retriever.) We traded in my Minnie Mouse fishing pole for a fresh water fly rod and started wading through the Eagle River near my parents house in Colorado. Somewhere about hip-deep in freezing cold water I realized I had an adult relationship with my dad outside of him washing my car and paying my bills. (Okay so I still let him wash my car. Every parent wants to still feel needed, right?)

Ready for independence and a grown-up relationship with your parents?

1. Its time to start making big decisions on your own.
2. Still feel like you need advice? Do some research on whatever you're trying to decide on beforehand and go in with an idea seeking their opinion rather than asking your parents to fix it for you.
3. If you act like a child, you'll still be treated like one.
4. The easiest way to get rid of "helecopter parents" is to volunteer the information you are willing to share about your life. As long as they feel in the loop, they'll stop hovering.
5. Figure out ways to adapt your relationship with your parents. Focus on common interests rather than being in a dependent relationship.
6. Throw them a bone. Let them take care of you now and then. They are your parents, after all.
7. Be grateful. Thank them for all of the things they've done for you throughout your life and for letting you grow up and figure things out on your own.

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Happy early Birthday, Dad. I'll always be a Daddy's Girl.