How To: Road Trip

I am beyond excited. Each day this week I announced to everyone around me that it was my “Last Monday of 2011” followed by “Last Tuesday!” and now “Last Wednesday!!!!” Tomorrow, expect me to be yelling “LAST WORK DAY FOR THE YEAR!” as I’m getting off the elevator. After work tomorrow, I’m hitting the road. I’m out of here. I’m headed HOOOOOOME!

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

For those of you who don’t know me very well, it is important to note in this article that I had moved to seven different states by the time I went off to college, adding one more to that my freshman year. That’s right. I’ve spent my entire life packing up, hopping in the car and zigzagging my way across this great big country.

Ever since I can remember, my family was always traveling, either from moving, or because we moved and had to go someplace else to visit family. We Millers have never been too good at sitting still.

My dad has mastered the art of the Road Trip. Well, sort of. He taught me early on in life how to be a Master Long Distance Driver. I was always the carsick one, so I would eventually end up riding shotgun, talking to my dad, learning the skills required to be a MLDD. Meanwhile, my mom and Eric sat in the back and watched Iron Will, Cool Runnings or Angels in the Outfield (yes, those are your only three options) on our 13” TV/VCR combo plugged into an adaptor while lying on the floor of a Chevy Astro with the seats out. We rode in style way before any of this drop-down TV business. Please feel free to laugh at the visual image of our 90’s family awesomeness.

So before you hop in the ol’ front-wheel sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and head to your old fashioned family Christmas, wherever it may be, remember these tips.

1. Listen to your dad, boyfriend, brother, or whoever your male auto afficionado is who actually knows something about cars. Check your tire pressure. Get your oil changed. Fill up your wiper fluid. Yada yada yada. Except really do it. Who wants to have car trouble in the middle of nowhere?
2. Pack in those tunes! There is nothing worse than when you lose all radio signals and have zero to listen to. Fill up your iPod or burn a bunch of new CDs.
3. If you’re driving alone, make sure you have something sweet or some kind of caffeine in the car in case you get a little drowsy. Decide if you're an early bird or a night owl. I prefer to wake up early and get most of the driving done rather than staying up late into the evening. At least in the daylight you have stuff to look around at, even if you're only noticing how desolate this town is.
4. The biggest rule of my dad’s that I break on a regular basis is “Only stop at places on the side of the road that you are already traveling.” If you’d prefer to eat somewhere on the opposite side of the highway from the way you’re traveling, well, according to this rule, tough luck. I say screw that. You’re already going to be sitting in the car for who knows how long. Get good food that you enjoy and then get back into driving mode.
5. If you’re traveling on back roads like I do to get home to Colorado, always watch speed limit signs. Two lane highways are infamous for dropping the speed limit from 70 to 35 in no time flat. That would be one horrendous speeding ticket and hard to talk your way out of, no matter how good you are at batting your eyelashes and looking innocent.
6. Even if you don’t need to stop for a bathroom break, take advantage of rest stops if you haven’t gotten out of the car in a while. It’s always good to stand up, walk around for a minute or two and stretch before you get back into the car. It’ll keep you awake and alert for longer.
7. Don’t push yourself past your limit. If you need to, stop at a rest stop and lean your seat back for an hour. The best part about road trips is that there’s no particular time frame. Take your time. Take a picture at the Worlds Largest Teepee. See that World’s Largest Prairie Dog. (It’s a statue. How lame. And yes, I’ve stopped.) Have fun! Take in the scenery! Enjoy the drive! It’ll be over before you know it.

I’m off to go pack up my car full of presents, ski boots, dog food, tasty road snacks, an 80-lb dog and myself. What an odd sleigh I have.

Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone!