How To: Avoid Being a Political Dimwit

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

It’s almost November, which, by the way, whoa, that got here fast. Its time for the beginnings of way-too-early Christmas music, hot chocolate, beautiful fall weather, pumpkin-spiced everything, and giving thanks for all that we’ve received over the past year.

A year from now, November in America is no longer about Pilgrims and Indians, but Republicans and Democrats. If only we could make them all sit at the same table and begrudgingly stare at each other, plaster smiles on their faces, let bygones be bygones, wipe the slate clean, and be thankful for the freedoms and lifestyles this great country allows us to have. If the Indians could forgive the Pilgrims for coming in, bringing foreign diseases, stealing their lands and livelihood for a day, can’t we all get along?

Next year is an election year and unless you’ve been living under a rock or are so completely liberal that you already know who you’re voting for without a doubt, then you’ve heard about the musings over who will run against Obama in next years election.

Although this is my blog and I could inform you of my personal views right here and now, I’ve decided that a bad, one-sided political debate is one of my biggest pet peeves, and what's more one-sided than a blog turned political rant? There is nothing quite as uncomfortable and annoying than when you find yourself unintentionally in a heated political conversation that you wish had never begun. The only thing that might be worse than that is a political debate with an uninformed nincompoop. (I think that might be my favorite word ever.)

Every time I think of political debates being unbelievably ridiculous, it makes me think of the old Snickers commercial during the George W. Bush v. Al Gore campaign. The elephant is going on and on about his dad and how they even wear the same size pants, and the donkey replies, “Oh yeah, well I invented pants.” (Don’t have a freakishly weird memory like me? Watch it!)

Each year the debates just go around and around in circles, discussing endlessly candidate’s pasts, their voting records, who’s too wishy-washy, who’s too strict, who’s a mouth-breather, who has better hair, who gets Botox, who NEEDS Botox, blah blah blah.

So how do you get past the pointless stuff and develop your own opinion to avoid sounding like a complete ninny in a political conversation? Here are my tips to think about before you start up an unintentional debate.

1. So you feel a political comment coming on, its right on the tip of your tongue and ready to explode your opinion onto the innocent bystanders around you. Look around. Take into consideration your audience. Do you know their political views already? Will this lead to an unintentional and uncomfortable debate? Brace yourself for the reply. Whatever the outcome, you started it.
2. You like to consider yourself "informed". And by that you mean, you watch strictly Jon Stewart. Or maybe its Fox News. Consider if you're getting your information from a deliberately biased news source before you claim it as fact for your political ammo. All news reports are biased to some extent, so remember to take everything with a grain of salt. You say tomato, i say tomahto. (Not really, that would be obnoxious.)
3. Don't be a dolt. If you're not positive of facts to support your outrageous stance on something, find some. The "Oh, yeah, well..." comeback is so highly respected. Or just don't say anything.
4. If you post your political stance on Facebook or any other networking site, don't get mad when people who disagree with your view comment on it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if you publicize yours, its giving the right to everyone else you know to do the same.
5. You've found yourself in one of those unintentional debates. Need to get out of it quick? Put on those wedgie-inducing big kid pants, swallow your pride and your thoughts and agree to disagree. More than likely you won't change anyone's opinion in a heated debate, so just end it.
6. Always remember, an opinion is personal. It can never be wrong.
7. The best way to avoid being a complete nitwit in a political conversation is to keep your opinions to yourself. Its foolproof. Unless you end up with your shoulder elephant and donkey in the voting booth like the unfortunate guy in the Snickers commercial.

God Bless America and the freedom we have to express our own views. I think you should check back next Wednesday for my newest post, but that's just my opinion.