How To: Read Between the Lines

Inspiration stuck this morning after having a conversation with my bestie Brad over interpreting something a guy had said to a friend of mine. Not everyone is as lucky as me to have a best guy friend to turn to (or vice versa) when you’re faced with tricky situations over figuring out the opposite sex.

I'm overgeneralizing here, but for the most part, women read into almost everything. We can't help it. It's part of the reason we're so good at adapting to situations - more than likely we've already thought of it anyway. Men, from my understanding, are much more simple. There are generally two reasons behind anything they say: 1. The truth. or 2. Something they think we want to hear in order to avoid the truth.

The biggest pitfalls happen when one party takes something at face value that isn't quite what they meant the other party to interpret and you wind up on the slippery slope of miscommunication. So frustrating!

Today’s post is slightly different than my standard format, but i'm going to give you some insight into several fabricated situations in where miscommunications are MOST LIKELY to happen. Luckily for you, Brad and I are here to give you the rundown on what everything really means.

EXAMPLE: 

Okay, everyone at some point in time has had this conversation or some version of it. It ends with both parties ready to slam their head into a wall. The open ended invite. To go or not to go - that is the question.

Guy Interpretation: Well, I was looking forward to a night with the boys. The only reason I even asked her was I thought she would say no! Its not like we're even dating. Can't we just hang out a different night and not have to ruin Guy's Night?

Girl Interpretation: He asked me to go! But he did say he was with a bunch of guys. Should I go or will I be crashing? I really like this guy though and I want to appear interested in the things that he likes even if I don't care about bar trivia.

General Rule: If they have something specific they mention (such as a guys night) that sounds like you might be intruding on, suggest an alternate plan for a different night and politely decline. This will get you much farther in the long run than becoming a tagalong. 

EXAMPLE:

Girls, if you've ever been left hanging with an awkward "Miss you!" left out there with no response, go ahead and start following Mishaps publicly. Just kidding! But really, you should go click the JOIN THIS SITE button on the top left hand side of the page.

Guy Interpretation: What just happened? We had a great night, and I thought things were going well. Is she really mad that I didnt say "Miss you, too"?? I dropped her off 5 minutes ago after just spent my entire night with her. I haven't had time to start missing her yet!

Girl Interpretation: He doesn't even CARE! Clearly by adding my "..." he knows that I was expecting something more and still didn't say anything! I'm completely disregarding the fact that I just spent the last 5 hours with him for the fact that 2 minutes later he doesn't miss me yet! HOW CAN HE NOT MISS ME, TOO??

General Rule: Consider the appropriateness of the stated "I miss you!"s before you throw it out there. Generally, if its immediately after a conversation with a guy or, even better, during a conversation, you're going to get left hanging. Don't jump to conclusions that this clearly means he's anticipating breaking up with you tomorrow and is glad to be rid of you - that would be a very girl-like thing to do so just CLOSE THE LID on the Crazy.


EXAMPLE:

The dreaded Friend Zone. This is the WORST case of miscommunication. Its like quicksand - once you're in it, there's really no coming out. Don't get caught!

Guy Interpretation: Awesome. I asked her to hang out and she wanted to do something tonight. This is even better than I thought. I wasn't sure if she was into me or not but I guess there's my answer! This could be a fun night!


Girl Interpretation: Its a bar - the more the merrier. He seems nice enough from what I know and this way i'm not forced into anything date-like. Is it 5 yet? I could really use a drink right about now. My feet are going to be killing me by 5. Why do I keep wearing these shoes anyway? Terrible decision. They do make my calves look good though. But for real. Ow.


General Rule: The second the words "Oh, we're just friends" comes out of either party's mouths - Donezo. You're sinking in that quicksand fast. If you are intending it to be a date rather than just "hanging out", be specific. Suggest a particular activity rather than just going with a vague suggestion. You'll get an immediate answer with a simple yes or no and move on from there.

So here is my only advice for this week.

1. Be specific. Say what you're thinking. I think you should click the JOIN THIS SITE button and become a loyal fan. Just saying.