How To: Have a Happy Valentine's Day

I find it extremely odd and somewhat hysterical that my dating blogs tend to be the most requested and the most viewed. Although I've been in plenty of relationships that lasted in range from 2 months to 2 years, I'm still single and clearly not a pro at this whole dating thing.

My first (and only, actually) Valentine's day that I spent in a relationship was when I was 15. I was dating my now best friend Brad (remember him? He's helped write a few posts for me!). I was currently living in Indianapolis and he was in Nashville. My parents drove me the three hours down to see him and we (yes, we. My parents, Brad's parents, Brad and myself) all went to a Nashville Predators game and Brad gave me a card that said "Why Cupid should wear a diaper" with a picture showing as if Cupid had crapped on a car windshield. Even at 15, I knew that a well-placed poop joke was just SUPER romantic. No wonder that was my one and only Valentine's day... I mean, really? How can you top that? (Brad, you still make me laugh 10 years later. Love you today and every day!)

Valentine's Day is such a strange holiday. It means different things to different people. Some people love it and are more than happy to share how much they love the people around them. Some people seem to hate the concept of it and refuse to buy into a "Hallmark Holiday." Wherever you may fall, follow these simple rules to get yourself through Valentine's Day in any phase of life.



FOR MY FAVORITE SINGLES:

The first person who says "Happy Single's Awareness Day!" I'm gonna slap the phony smile right off your face. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Is there any reason that you're more aware of your solo status today than you were yesterday? Last week? Two months ago? No. So stop whining and don't be a Debbie Downer.

1. Let's not forget the reason for this holiday. LOVE! You are surrounded by love every day of the year from your family, friends, coworkers, dogs, cats, neighbors, me, you, etc. Always remember that you are loved.
2. Do something nice for someone you care about today. This morning, I made a pitstop at Sonic and bought small drinks for four of my coworkers, which I had cut out tags that said "Drink up the Love. Happy Valentine's Day!" on the straw of their favorite beverage. My Diet Coke with a splash of Love in it was absolutely delicious.
3. Make yourself happy today. Watch your favorite movie. Eat your favorite food. Buy yourself flowers. Be happy.

FOR MY NEW DATERS:

Did you happen to find yourself in a new relationship in January? Are you just starting to see someone? This is such a tricky topic. Should you celebrate Valentine's Day? Are you being pushy by suggesting it? Date? No Date? WHO KNOWS?!

1. Girls, set your expectations LOW. More than likely, it will be just like if you were single. Valentine's Day doesn't usually mean as much to guys as it does to us ladies.
2. Guys, if you're really digging your new Lady Friend, go for a romantic gesture. Buy us flowers. Send us a card. Ask us to be your Valentine. Show us that we're becoming important to you. We eat that kind of stuff up.
3. This is the most important rule: If one person brings up possibly doing something for Valentine's Day, best to just go with the flow. Girls, don't shoot guys down. Guys, don't panic! Its just one day. It'll be over before you know it.

FOR MY STEADY RELATIONSHIP-ERS:

Pretty self explanatory.

1. Be honest about your expectations. We can't read minds. If you're expecting to walk into your apartment and find rose petals strewn about the floor, well, better say you're wanting something romantic this year.
2. Its more about effort than money spent. Write down things you love about your partner and put it in a cute box. Cook your partner's favorite meal. Do something that shows that you care today and every day.
3. If you don't particularly love Valentine's Day but your partner does, suck it up for a day. Its not worth hurt feelings and a fight on the one day of the year that you're supposed to be mushy and completely in love.

To all of my wonderful readers, I love you!!!

PS. If you know of any tall, hunky 20-Something guys who appreciate a girl with a sense of humor, an awesome dog and a quick wit, well, you know how to contact me.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

How To: Do Your Own DIY

Who here misses living in a dorm? I sure don’t. Except maybe the whole “I never have to cook for myself, ever” part. That was nice.

Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

We all remember our college days. Dudes decorating their rooms with the ever-classy old beer boxes. Girls with posters of our favorite actors plastered to our cinderblock walls. (Mine was the famous Cosmo Kramer painting. Tells you something about my personality, doesn’t it?) Everything is cheap and semi-disposable.

And then we graduated. We moved into Almost Adult apartments with our same stuff we had in college and suddenly, you look around and realize just how cheap and disposable everything looks. IKEA furniture doesn’t move very well. Either that or I really suck at putting it together properly… Extreme possibility there.

So as I was staring at my IKEA dresser with the bottom drawer completely broken and tempting the rest of the dresser to follow in its footsteps, I realized that my apartment needed to look a little more Almost Adult, a little less Recent Grad.

Seeing as Frugal and I are still in a relationship, this needed to be a cheap fix. I can’t afford entirely new furniture at this point in time. Instead, I found two resources to help me with my DIY Recent Grad Apartment Purge: Apartment Therapy and Pinterest.

Apartment Therapy is exactly what it sounds like, and gave me a chuckle with its name choice. Its chock full of ideas on IKEA hacks, DIY furniture re-dos, product comparisons and lots of other fun ideas.

And then there’s Apartment Therapy’s slightly crazy and ADHD sister, Pinterest. Holy @#*$, all of these awesome ideas in one place?! It’s like a Mecca for… well, everything. The only place where its completely-kind-of acceptable to let your crazy flag fly and pin everything for your future wedding (apparently even if you’re single), your future babies, your hopes and dreams, yada yada yada.

Never been on Pinterest? It’s an online pin board application that allows to create virtual “bulletin boards” (think middle school Dream Boards here people) and pin different things to it, such as blog posts, how to articles (hey hey!), websites, you name it. If it’s on the web, it can be pinned. If it’s not, well, take a picture and post it yourself!

Suddenly I’m dreaming of paint swatches, fabric patterns, wingback chairs that after watching that 2 minute video I’m SUUUURE I can reproduce… But seriously.

So how do we make our Dream Boards a reality?

1. Pick a project. Start with something you're semi-comfortable with. I chose painting furniture. I needed a new dresser BADLY, so i went about doing the easiest thing i knew how. I recieved a dresser I had picked out from a consignment shop for Christmas this past year and began the refinishing process. Not only do all of my drawers work now, but it actually even looks pretty good!    
2. Do your research. Instead of just reading that two minute tutorial on reupholstering a wingback chair, find a couple different ones and do your homework. Are they giving the same advice? How hard does it really look? How much does it cost to have someone else do it?
3. Do you have your Jumping Buddy? Help each other out. Most DIY projects go a lot smoother with two sets of hands working on it. (Man, i'm all about the Finding Nemo lately. Please read that in the voice of Squirt.)
4. Target the areas you need the most help with first. Investing in "staples" isn't a terrible idea now that our lives are a little more settled as Almost Adults. So save up your money and treat yourself to a non-broken couch.
5.  Need a rug? Check out hardware stores or local flooring places. A lot of times they have left over pieces of carpet that are already cut that you can have the edges bound and POOF! You've practically got carpet.
6. Check out local thrift stores, antique malls, and flea markets. You never know what you'll find! I just bought a 1920s french door frame that i popped the glass out of and am now going to have vintage wall art for $30.
7. Be brave! You might surprise yourself with your own handiness. If not, well, call your friends and see if they can help you fix whatever you just attempted to do yourself.

If you need me, I'll probably be wasting time on Pinterest. Have a good week, Readers!

How To: Change Single to Plural

Monday rolled around this week and I sat there in my cube, dreaming of my bed instead of doing work, trying to think of things to keep me awake. What should I make for dinner? I think I’d like to repaint my entertainment center. I bet Brodie climbed up on the couch the second I closed the door this morning. What should I write about this week?

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on any topic I choose to write about from here on out, but maybe the things that I've gone through or are going through currently relate to you and can help you in some way. At the very least, you can laugh at/with me, remembering that one time that maybe you too felt like a complete moron, as I go through the many Mishaps of an Almost Adult.

So many unrelated thoughts rolled through my mind and somehow I landed on recapping a conversation I had earlier this week. A good friend of mine asked me to write about being single. I’ve been coaching her lately, her Hitch, as she calls me, on how to handle dating as an adult. It’s weird, considering I’m such a pro at this, obviously. Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

Somehow women end up with the same self confidence level we had in middle school, except without the braces, acne and other things really fighting to break our mediocre self esteem. The song Crazy Girl by Eli Young Band (luff them so much) pretty much is the dream song that every girl needs to hear from a future or current love interest, seeing as somehow we all seem to go nuts at one point or another. Sorry boys. We don’t always mean it. Sometimes we do though. I wish I could tell you how to tell the difference in these circumstances, but even I don’t know. After all, we're women. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary. (Sliding Doors)

Relationship status ends up becoming far more than just a Facebook update, but somehow works its way into part of our Almost Adult definition of ourselves. My mom called me all upset a few weeks ago. Apparently after being asked about her daughter, she told this person that I was working full time, designing on the side, and writing this hilarious blog she loved to read each week. My mom got terribly offended and felt the need to call me and tell me that the first thing this woman asked was, “That’s great! Is she dating anyone?”

“Why does that matter?” she said when she called me to vent. “I gave her three awesome things about you that she could have commented on and that's what she chose? Does being single have to define you? That’s horrible! Do you get that all the time?”

Well, yeah, I do get that a lot. My favorite answer is, “I have a dog!” to which most people kind of laugh and then get a sad look on their face as they now feel bad for me. They are clearly underestimating the awesomeness that is Brodie. And the fact that he’s practically the size of a human, so I’m not even sure he still counts as a dog.

I’m single and currently okay with it. Would I like to be plural? Sure. The way I see it, there are four different stages of single:

1. You’re newly single. Unfortunately, you’ve found yourself at a crossroad in your life and are now trying to figure out who you are sans relationship. It sucks. We’ve all been there.
2. You’re single and enjoying it. You like meeting new people at bars and go out on lots of first dates, but maybe aren’t ready for the commitment to a long term relationship yet. After all, you’re just 20-Something.
3. You’re single and ready to mingle. (Who says that? That’s dumb. Apparently I just did though.) You are actively seeking a relationship with potential.
4. You’re single single. Hopefully you’ll run into someone in the elevator at work, have a grocery cart accident, or get your dog’s leash tied around some cute 20-somethings legs. In the meantime, you’re just plain single.

More than likely, we’ve all been all of these things at some point in time. Some people stay at certain stages longer than others, but who’s to say what’s right and how long each of these stages should last? How much effort should you put into dating? How much should you just leave to fate and pray changes in its own time? WHY IS DATING SO HARD?

Clearly I can’t give you any magic fix-all seven point plan to change your Single to Plural. (unless you go read How To: Find 50 First Dates – that’s kind of a cure if you’re a Single #2 or #3). Here’s my best advice.

1. Always, always, always be yourself. If you have to change for someone else, well, you haven’t found the right person yet.
2. Don’t take dating advice from The Bachelor. Those people are crazy. You've known the dude for 2 minutes and you're saying you could see yourself marrying him and making cute babies. Lets pump the brakes a little. I feel so stable and normal after watching that show.
3. Be brave. When you’re ready to start dating, give it a shot. Your chances are far better of finding someone if you actually put yourself out there. Say hi to the cute guy in the elevator. Offer to buy the coffee of an attractive girl behind you in line at Starbucks. Strike up a conversation with someone sitting alone at lunch. Find 50 First Dates.
4. Rejection is just going to be part of the process. Be comfortable in your own skin and rebound quickly. Obviously it was a character flaw on the other party’s half to not see the amazingness that is you.
5. Find things you’re glad you do alone. Read a book. Run a new jogging trail. Be content in your singleness.
6. If you can’t be happy alone, well, work on that. Its never a good idea to have your happiness dependent on someone else. That way, it can never be taken away from you.
7. Never give up hope. No matter how old you are, whether you’re a 20-Something or a 40-Something, if you are open to it, I truly believe you’ll find someone.

Do as Dory does – “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We SWIM!”

And yes, I'm 25 and just quoted Finding Nemo. That has absolutely no impact on my current relationship status. Don't judge.