How To: Teach a (not that) Old Dog New Tricks

I'm posting this little tidbit just for entertainment's sake - there will still be a full post on Wednesday!

For those of you who are lucky enough to know my furry friend Brodie, you will appreciate this post. For those of you who don't, well, its still funny. Go read the story about the day I got him here! 

One of the many perks of now owning my own house is having a backyard for Brodie! The two of us are loving having someplace to play with the tennis ball over and over and over again right out the back door.  Brodie was even lucky enough to get a dog door so he can access his own personal playground any time he wants. Only problem is that he has no idea this is the case. Look at him smiling.

You always hear stories about big dogs that think they're lap dogs and can just sit on your lap with their 75 lb self. Brodie, being ever the quirky one, seems to be the exact opposite. In his mind, he must be about 4 times as wide as he normally is. Here are some examples.

Situation: Someone's sitting on the couch with their legs up on the coffee table with a conveniently placed toy right underneath them.

Brodie Logic: Just sit here and stare at it in hopes that someone will move it out of this BY FAR to small space.

Situation: Something moveable is blocking the way to my food.

Brodie Logic: Find alternative route including going around the entire house to avoid it. And then when I get close, i'll sprint and end up tripping myself. Close call. 

Situation: New flap is installed in the door that seems to be on hinges and is exactly the right height for me to walk though.

Brodie Logic: Stare at the door, whine, and start shaking for no apparent reason when too close to this odd flap that magically leads outside.

And then something miraculous happened.

Situation: Someone on the other side of the door has a cookie in their hand. I can see it. And now its gone.

Brodie Logic: Screw everything i'm afraid of. This space looks too small for me but there are COOKIES at stake here.

Close call. I was starting to think the only solution was going be a game of Follow the Leader with me showing him how to operate the door. Pretty positive I'd fit but glad I didn't have to find out. That just sounds like a Mishap waiting to happen.

See you Wednesday!

How To: Be a Better Earthling

So lately I’ve been feeling a little more Adult than Almost Adult. I bought a house, I have a CAREER rather than a job, and life seems to be moving in an Adult-ish direction. I could not be more thrilled about it. It’s hard for me to determine the “best” part of my life right now, which is an amazing feeling. I’m writing and designing, have a job that I love, working on my house, and watching my puppy grow into an Almost Adult dog. He trips way less often now.

Maybe this just comes with the territory of being mid-twenties instead of recent grad, but life is just good all the way around. This past week I got a nice little reminder of why I wanted to major in Public Relations and why I am so happy to be back in this field. I, once again, have an opportunity to make a difference, outside of giving insightful, yet funny, advice to Almost Adults. 

There is nothing quite like the feeling of bringing a smile to someone else’s face. Whether it was from my obnoxiously-perky-at-6:30-in-the-morning self, the bass beats playing behind me, or from the idea of doing something good for the world, there were lots of smiles on little faces at Kramer Elementary School here in Dallas this past Friday. I was assigned to help out with the City of Dallas’ Cease the Grease campaign this past week and was at an Earth Day celebration hosted by one of the teachers at Kramer.

Every time I say that word I picture this and start saying things like "El Paso, I spent a month there one night." He never gets old. And his hair has so much movement, geez.

It was inspiring to see these kids not only participate in Earth Day events but to understand why we were having events like this Cease the Grease campaign. Rodolfo even carried in a jug that was practically bigger than he was – cutest kindergartener I’ve ever seen. 

Kramer, (yep, still picturing the slide entrance) and many other schools throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth area, are starting to participate in programs other than just Cease the Grease to inspire children to be good Earthlings. Programs like REAL School Gardens are teaching kids in underprivileged schools all about the importance of living a healthy lifestyle and being environmentally responsible. 

That afternoon I went back to the office with “The Grease Monster won’t like this song” stuck in my head. It's quite the catchy tune – and I had to listen to it roughly 82 times… but who’s counting. Maybe I should do the Kramer entrance into my co-workers office and start rapping the song just to break up the day a little. Later, I started thinking about what I could do to be a better person. Seems to me that if a kindergartener can be working harder on recycling, planting, and being good to our Earth, so can a 20-Something.

1. Pick a non-profit organization you feel strongly about and are ready to contribute to. There are tons of organizations dedicated to different kinds of issues, surely you can find one that hits close to home.
2. All non-profits welcome volunteers. Find an organization you’re thinking might be fun to participate in and sign up. If planting flowers and having deep conversations about cartoons with 6-year-olds is your idea of fun, check out REAL School Gardens volunteer page.
3. You don't have to be a tree hugger to recycle. Check out RecyclingCenters.org for a list of things that are easily recyclable and start doing your part.
4. Don't just recycle, UPcycle! Go read last week's post and reinvent something you would have gotten rid of.
5. Want to make yourself a better person WHILE making a difference? Check out Team in Training. Their program helps you lose weight, get healthy AND raise money for cancer research all at the same time. 
6. Check with your company to see if they actively participate in any organizations that would be beneficial to your company. If not, suggest one that would tie in with your line of work. It never hurts to look good from a boss's perspective.
7. If none of this sounds appealing to you, you can always donate money instead of time. Every dollar makes a difference to lots of organizations.

Even if its just imitating Kramer every time you walk through a door, go out of your way to make someone else's day better. I guarantee you won't regret it. Unless your slide turns into a face plant. That would be unfortunate.

How To: Clean House, Hoarder Edition

Welcome back! I hope everyone had a good weekend and start to the week. I am still recovering from my weekend (don’t worry… I usually write on Mondays). Since I’m a 20-Something, normally that would go along with a forehead/temple rub and maybe a few groans about how I can’t handle my booze anymore.

For me, it’s more that I’m still picking paint out from under my nails, flexing my sore arm muscles and trying to figure out where all of these bruises came from. I worked on my house all weekend getting as much done as I could, knowing that this week was going to force me to halt progress on my end. But look what I got accomplished! 

Makes the paint I still have on my legs under my work pants worth it. I really need to shower when I’m more awake… This week the progress isn’t dependent on me and more on my checkbook – new counters, backsplash and electrical work is all scheduled for this week! 

So that leaves me with the WORST part about buying a house. Packing. 

I think I might be allergic to cardboard boxes. I hate them so much. Even more than I hate cardboard boxes, I hate packing things I don’t need. For example, I actually have a box in my closet that I NEVER UNPACKED from my last move. That is pitiful. I can guarantee that if I haven’t missed it over the last year I can just pitch the entire contents of the box. I am embarrassing myself right now. I could have at least opened the box… But no. Lets just admire the picture to the left and pretend like I live  minimalist lifestyle with only two chairs and a side table for a family room instead of clutter and junk everywhere...

Why is getting rid of stuff always harder than it seems? They have entire TV shows dedicated to people’s inability to get rid of things. It’s terrible. Maybe its just the fact that it seems overwhelming and too time consuming to go through everything. 

Here’s my advice on paring down:

1. Watch an episode of Hoarders to get you in the mood. Its disgusting. It’ll have you reconsidering holding on to your Field Day ribbon from 3rd grade, I promise. 
2.  Make a pile of things you can take to Goodwill or a local thrift store. You can even look up stores like Plato’s Closet that buy back clothes to turn some profit. 
3. Once a year, or maybe even twice, go through your closet. This is the easiest place to accumulate things you don’t need, especially us females. This is the time consuming part, but take the time to try everything on. If it doesn’t fit or isn’t how you remembered it, it can probably go. 
4. If you’re anything like me, you should probably go through your movie/old music/video games collection. If you haven’t watched, heard or played it in the last year, you probably don’t need it anymore. Plus, selling them to places like Movie Trader or Half Price Books is a great way to make your lunch money for the week. 
5. Take this next piece of advice with a grain of salt or else you’ll be the next participant on Clean House: Don’t throw away something that you’re going to regret. If something has extreme sentimental value to you, then its probably worth keeping. My suggestion would be to buy one box (don’t get too carried away size-wise) and fill it with the sentimental items you do want to keep. If it doesn’t fit in the box, well, take something else out and keep the “one box” rule. 
6. General rule of thumb that I use is that if I have an item that I’m not currently using, I have to come up with three reasons why I’m keeping it, including at least one use for it. If I can’t come up with three solid reasons, it can be pitched or donated. 
7. Make good decisions! Don’t be a packrat! Decide which things in your life for the things that are worth keeping and make you a better person. Who knows what unexpected additions you’ll find when you actually make room.

Now that I’ve procrastinated packing for an additional 30 minutes writing this post, I guess I should go start. But I could do some laundry. Or maybe read a book. Brodie looks like he might need a walk. I should check my email…

How To: Be the NKOTB

Recently I’ve found myself in an all too familiar situation: I am suddenly suffering from a double dose of New Kid. Certainly by now I should be a pro at this…

My life seems to be shifting quickly in several different directions these past few weeks. I bought a house, left my job and found a new one. All of these things were the right decision for me. I am beyond thrilled by the way it has all turned out except for one teensy weensy itty bitty detail. I DESPISE being the New Kid.

Every time I think about being new somewhere it brings up horrible flashbacks of being new in high school, making my way into the cafeteria, zero friends and at least 30 minutes to sit there feeling alone in a crowd. And I was the New Kid twice in high school. Don’t ever make your kids move junior year… its not fun.

Even without the cafeteria, for some reason being the New Kid always reminds me of Mean Girls. If only I had a Janis to walk me through the jungle that is the cafeteria life as an Almost Adult.

As with all new jobs, getting acquainted with the new standards always puts you on a bit of a learning curve. Like high school, each job has not only its own dress code, rules and etiquette, but its own expectations and you’re walking in blind. Just to be on the safe side, I have a pink shirt picked out to wear today… We wear pink on Wednesdays.

The new neighborhood brings an entirely new set of issues. You might be moving in next to one of those people who are so horribly picky about their yard or a constant noise complainer. So far, its seemed rather uneventful. My across-the-street neighbor even mowed my yard for me. How nice of him! He must have taken pity on me after watching me walk in circles looking for my spigot last week and decided that poor me couldn’t be counted on to take care of my own yard. (Fine by me. His yard looks awesome.)

So how do we handle new kid syndrome?

1. As awkward as it seems, just strike up conversations. It can be about nothing. I sat on my front porch with Brodie awkwardly while several neighbors were out in their yards before I finally got up the courage to just go walk over. Just rip that band-aid off.
2. Instead of waiting for an invitation to join in lunch plans at a new job, make some yourself and invite someone else to join you. Its much easier to control the situation than to sit back and hum "All By Myself."
3. Don't creepily ask your neighbors if they own a lawn service as they park obnoxiously close to your yard. Instead of coming off as inquisitive and interested in business, you might seem weird about people parking in front of your house. (Thank goodness I didn't burn that bridge.)
4. You don't have to be best friends with all of your neighbors or coworkers, but it definitely helps to be on friendly terms. Make sure to smile and participate in conversation rather than be the awkward, lonely kid.
5. Be ready to take the back seat. This is not your time to shine - just play follow the leader before you strike out on your own and steal the spotlight.
6. Its time to be on your best behavior. Make your neighbors and coworkers glad that you're the one who's new.
7. Keep an optimistic attitude. Pretty soon your new-ness will wear off.

Clear the way party people, I'm the New Kid on the Block.
::crosses arms like Donnie::

How To: Play Catch Up

To say I’ve been busy might be the understatement of the year. First off, let me apologize for my lax attitude towards Mishaps these past few weeks. I have had my plate piled entirely too high (as I’m sure you can tell from the “handling stress”-type posts lately) and am working on whittling it down.

I sat down to think about what to write this week and decided, rather than picking any of the plethora of subjects that relate to my life right now, I owed you an explanation of my recent Mishaps.

As you all know, I’ve been working on buying a house. Exciting news! Mishaps of an Almost Adult now has a brand-spanking-new headquarters, complete with its very own OFFICE to write all of this insightful and hilarious advice for you. Who knows. Maybe I'll even write a book now.

Being a stereotypical first-time homeowner, I pictured everything in its place and was SO excited. Upon entering my 1955 house for the first time all alone, I realized I had just bought a 66-year-old house. Hm. It wasn’t quite as pretty as I remembered it when it was cutely decorated. Standing there in this big (little) empty house, I was slightly overwhelmed. I walked around the house, got stuck in the bathroom (that door is just plain weird), tried unsuccessfully to open a few different windows, and finally just decided to start with the patio. What could be wrong with a patio?

I did, no joke, FOUR LAPS around my house looking for the water spigot. At this point my new neighbors were standing in their driveways watching me open and close the garage door, walking in circles with Brodie at my heels with I’m sure a look on my face that was half confused, half frustrated. I had an entire 30-minute conversation with my dad on the phone asking if he remembered seeing one, then about the spelling of spigot (he was right, I was way off), and then finally estimating the cost of adding one. Why would I have a hose but no spigot? This made zero sense. What. The. Poop. This house was officially WEIRD.

I finally found the spigot, hooked up my hose, of course ended up drenching myself, hosed off the patio, pulled out my new patio chairs and collapsed into it. Things seem to be going in this pattern, but I’m chugging along. I currently have paint all over me: legs, hands, elbows, even on my forehead. Beats me. Don’t ask.

All of this has been an excellent distraction for me these past few days from my real source of stress. I quit my job this week. It was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made, but it was past time and I needed to move on.

The timing of my job heading south lately was entwined so tightly with me getting my house that I was on the verge of a Stage Five Meltdown for the past several weeks. I’m not sure what stages One through Four would be, but I’m talking head-between-your-knees, crying hysterically over lost keys in the middle of your parents kitchen type meltdown.

I am grateful for the opportunity I had over the past year, for the friends I made there, and most importantly, for giving me the means to make my dream of homeownership a possibility.

The best news is though, I am starting a new chapter of Mishaps. I am beyond excited about the future. In the meantime, here's some things I've learned lately.

1. Latex paint claims to wash off with soap and water. My arm can attest that this is not as easy as it sounds.
2. Be nice to your neighbors. They might happen to own a lawn service and can help you out.
3. Apartment dogs have zero idea what to do with a backyard.
4. Spigots apparently don't have to be attached to the house, and might be under an insulator bag  that resembles a sleeping bag for a garden gnome. 
5. Make friends at the nearest Home Depot.
6. Its beneficial to have a friend who drives a pick-up truck.
7. I have the best family and friends ever. 

Mishaps of an Almost Adult HQ