How To: Get Rid of Growing Pains

And no, I'm not talking about Kirk Cameron and Leonardo DiCaprio... Who would ever want to get rid of these cuties and their super 90's haircuts?

Seriously. Check out that 'fro. I'm a little envious of 

Ben's side swoop bangs... why won't mine do that?!

I'm talking about the ones that are involved with putting on those wedgie-inducing Big Kid pants. One of the most important parts of being an Almost Adult is learning how to navigate stressful and tricky situations all by your lonesome. Its terrible, nerve-racking and just plain overwhelming.

Right now, amongst my closest group of friends, we're dealing with issues about becoming independent from our parents, getting engaged, buying houses, ending jobs, starting careers, becoming entrepreneurs, going back to school, breaking up, dating, you name it. Its like you see in movies where the character is just standing there as everyone around them starts talking all at once and it just keeps getting louder and louder as the person just stands there and panics until they end up screaming bloody murder. How are we supposed to know how to handle all of this with a pleasant smile on our faces and get from one day to the next?

Some days its hard to even see the humor in situations that you're going through. For instance, a not-so-advertised Mishap from this past year, on Thanksgiving, I had an "incident" with a creme brulee torch that ended up in me losing most of my eyelashes on my right eye, a seriously scorched eyebrow, and a significant portion of my bangs. Yes. Please laugh. It was exactly as you're imagining. One big ol' mushroom cloud coming out of the torch and me standing there while LITERALLY getting my eyebrows burnt off. 

As I stood there mourning the loss of my precious super-long-and-everybody-is-jealous-of-them eyelashes and couldn't get rid of the just plain awful smell of singed hair (probably burnt my nose hairs too... that would explain a lot), I just wanted to cry at the situation. In fact, I did. I stood in the laundry room of our house and sobbed. My poor bangs. My poor hair. How awful. It was one of the more traumatizing things thats ever happened to me, and months later, probably one of the funniest. 

Last night I spent talking on the phone to a friend of mine about how terrible my day had been. The whole conversation quickly turned into laughing about his St. Patrick's Day adventures, then trying to convince me that his seemingly odd bite he had was either from the world's tiniest vampire or possibly the alleged leprechaun from Mobile, Alabama (if you haven't seen this - brace yourself.), and finally reliving horrible college stories. 

The whole time I sat there, my problems from the day seemed further from what was really important and less horrible. Although I'm not ready to laugh at them like I do about my poor eyebrows (they're almost fully grown back in), I know it will come in time.

So how do we get rid of these growing pains in the meantime?

1. Put one foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward. Just keep swimming.
2. Find the silver lining. Even if its potential humor-value later in life when its not so fresh, there has to be something good about it.
3. Ask advice. Although we're learning how to be independent adults, you're never too old to ask advice from people like your parents or mentors who have literally been there, done that.
4. Pout, vent, scream, sigh, get it out. Do whatever you need to do to let off some steam and then pull on those Big Kid pants.
5. Deal with problems head-on. Find your own solutions rather than just waiting it out.
6. Count on your friends. Sometimes a little support is all you need,
7. Stay positive. You're not supposed to have it all figured out yet.

I am so incredibly lucky to have the wonderful friends and support system that I do. 

And the ability to laugh at myself.

And still have my eyelashes. 

How To: Adult Spring Break

I have been extremely busy this week and was debating putting off posting, until this morning while I was sitting here eating my Gluten Free Chex cereal (its amazing) thinking about how much I don't want to go to work right now when it hit me.

I miss Spring Break. Or just any break in general. Why don't we adults ever get that? Boo adult life. Here is my short but brief advice on how to celebrate an Adult Spring Break.

1. Pout. Be jealous of your friends that chose to go to Grad School.
2. Go to work. Doesn't that just seem unfair?
3. Contemplate becoming a teacher. They have breaks still.
4. Decide thats probably not the best reason to become a teacher. Maybe you should just keep your job.
5. Use a day or two of PTO. Everybody loves Paid Time Off.
6. Do something fun for yourself even if its out of the norm of your typical week. And most definitely put an umbrella in any drink you happen to have, even if its just a Diet Coke.
7. Brace yourself. Its International Drinking Day on Saturday. You can be completely normal when you act like you're still in college.

Happy Spring Break to all of my undergrad and grad student readers. 

I secretly hate you all a little right now. 

Just kidding. 

Kind of.

How To: Decorate with Crappy Taxidermy

You don't. That's how.

After my status update this weekend about the Misadventures of House Hunting, I was asked by several of my friends to impart my House Hunting wisdom into a funny recollection of the houses I’ve seen.

You know those wooden roller coasters at amusement parks that always look so fun? Who wouldn’t want to go on one?! And then you get on, are jerked around, crack your neck way too many times to be safe and get off super glad that we live in the 21st century and we now have big, smooth steel roller coasters. That’s how I feel about house hunting.

As you might have guessed by now, the offer I had put in last week fell through. It stunk. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being super excited about a house, freaking out over your offer, and then completely crushed when it doesn’t work out. I exited my ramp from the metaphorical wooden roller coaster, and all of the sudden it seemed like maybe not just my symbolic neck was hurting, but my love of figurative roller coasters had died down a little.

After downing a large fat-free vanilla yogurt with non-fat-free Reese’s cups on it, I decided it was time to get back on the House Hunting bandwagon. Ever the optimist, I picked out 5 new homes to see this past Saturday. Noon rolled around and I was feeling good about it. This was going to be fun. I love houses. I was going to find something better than the House One anyways. House One smoked and let’s face it, smoking is a deal breaker for me. Its cute face and Old Soul personality had caused a momentary lapse of judgment, but I knew I could do better.

As a friend of mine told me, finding a house is a lot like love. You’ll know when you’ve found the right one… Funny. Both of us are single. And he doesn’t have a house either.

Here were the Bachelor House contestants:

House Number One: The Metro in need of a Sugar Mama. No.

House Number Two: The Smoker. Nuh uh.

House Number Three: The Frump. Don’t think so.

House Number Four: The Bad Boy. Not a chance.

House Number Five: The Hippie. Complete with compost pile, “eclectic” style, a VW bus, two cats, a dog, and two beautifully taxidermied pigeons on the mantle… NOPE! No! Definitely not.

These were my options?! I’d rather be single home-less. I, of course, realize that I failed you all by not taking a picture of said Taxidermied Pigeons, so I googled Taxidermied Pigeons instead and found this gem, which is actually about 10 times funnier than the original pigeons that caused this post. And yes, it was listed under a thread with the subject "Crappy Taxidermy." He looks so in his element. I think I'll call him Leon. He looks like a Leon.

Is being a homeowner on your ... List? Follow these tips to narrow your search.

1. Location, Location, Location. Drive around neighborhoods and figure out where you see yourself living before you even start looking at real estate.
2. Creep on Potential Neighbors. Look at the cars in the driveways, the condition of the houses, the cleanliness of the homes. Will you fit in here?
3. Get Out of Jail Free. Check out local crime rates in the area by searching the address on Trulia and clicking the "crime" tab on the map. Green means Go.
4. Death and Taxes. (bad joke. sorry.) Taxes (especially in Texas) can be A LOT in addition to your mortgage costs. Check the local property tax rates and calculate that into your budget for housing.
5. Check Yourself. Find a mortgage calculator online and figure out how much you think you can afford each month. Especially for first time home buyers, always play it safe.
6. Do Your Homework. If you're looking into getting an FHA loan or any other type of loan with a small downpayment, check the requirements for those loans. Often times they are strict and you'll need to be watching for the things that would nix a house as a potential candidate in their eyes. Also, be sure to fill your realtor in on any kind of loan stipulations you're intending on getting.
7. Follow Your Heart. You'll know when its right. Try to think like an Adult. You're almost one. You'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. In the meantime, if you need a panic attack buddy, well, I'm right here.

The ending of my Bachelor House search is still To Be Continued.


UPDATE!
Mishaps of an Almost Adult's Headquarters is relocating! I am now under contract with the cutest, sweetest house in all of Dallas. Pictures and more posts to come after my closing date! YAY!