Morning Commute Reflection

Okay, forewarning, I wrote this entire post in my head while driving to work this morning, so I'll go ahead and ask you to excuse my slight awe-shocked humble brag post. Its also about to get more spiritual than I usually am. So just bear with me. Or don't, your choice.

I was listening to my husband's Pandora One account (cuz I'm cheap and just stole his login information), driving along my normal morning commute, looking at all of the cars in my rear view mirror. I'm not exactly sure what triggered it, but there I sat, looking at the highway realizing that I've been in this routine for what will be two years at the end of this month. Part of me feels like it was yesterday, most of me feels like it was surely a decade ago.

See, two years ago, I gave up. I was fed up with my life in general. I was burnt out on dating one dead-end after another, I was exhausted with the early 20s almost-adult-but-kind-of-college-kid weekends, I was physically and emotionally done with my crap-tastic job. I was just over my entire life and wasn't sure what to do next. (PS. I have come to learn since then, this is apparently a semi-common thing amongst almost adults, so hey, if this sounds familiar, you're not alone.)

I needed a change in a big way. After Christmas that year, my best friend Catherine and I decided to set out on a path-seeking journey, mostly lead by determining if our faith that we grew up with was really ours or if it was just passed down to us. We began by doing a Bible study on the Psalms. I remember laying awake at night reading David's pleas with God thinking, "Well he understands." Which is really funny to me, because his problems were a wee bit bigger than my "woe is me, what do I do with my little insignificant life?" The only giant I was facing was a big ol' case of situational depression. Life sucked. That's all there was to it. 

Each night I read a psalm and would pray, thanking God for everything He'd given me and asking for His continued blessings in my life. I'd ask Him to help me find my path in life, to lead me in His direction. And holy moly, He did.

I remember sitting at my retarded cubicle in the middle of a sea of insignificance and just deciding I'd had enough. I didn't need to wait for something, or someone, to come along for me to change. I had all of the capacity I needed to spur my own change. So I decided to start by moving out of my hip and trendy apartment and finding a house that was more laid back and much more me. I was fine living alone, I loved decorating, this was a great plan. So I bought a house. 

Then about two weeks later, I decided that I was done with my job. I went online and began searching for something that was actually in the field I have a degree in (whoa guys. Earth-shattering here) and decided no matter what the position, I was going to take a step forward into what I wanted to do, even if it meant taking a position as an assistant in a PR firm and taking up my spot as the literal bottom of the totem pole. And I did. 

I went about learning to love myself and my new life a little more each day, and the morning after my house-warming Cinco de Derby party, I decided it was time to let someone else love me, too. So I joined eHarmony. 

I wish I was kidding you, because its still surreal to me even now, but within 24 hours, this kid named Christopher messaged me, with a profile that seemed like maybe we might match up. He talked a lot about sports and didn't once mention bars - sounded about my speed, right? So I went out with him.

The morning of our first date, I was headed to a baby shower for a family friend and remember being ready to breathe into a paper bag to catch my breath, sitting there going "Well surely this is going to be the worst date ever because there's just too much good happening right now. The other shoe is going to surely drop."But it didn't.

Except that he tripped walking me to my car. And I remind him of this on definitely a weekly basis. Always there to humble my now loving husband. 

Point of this whole message? Baby steps. 

If any of this sounds like its hitting home, first off, there's nothing wrong with you. Just because we log into Facebook every day and see everyone getting married and having babies doesn't mean that YOU have to, or should be. I realize that I'm a bit of a hypocrite as I'm sitting here telling you about all of the growing I did in such a short period of time, but hang on with me for a bit.

Not until you decide to take the reigns of your life into your own hands and find YOUR path will all of the pieces fall into place. Look at your life as a whole and figure out what needs to go. Push yourself outside your comfort zone and just freakin' go for it. What do you have to lose? Maybe its time to move, maybe its time to try something new, maybe its time for a career change. Who knows, its whatever you need. But just do it. 

I can't believe its been two years. I would say I'm the luckiest girl in the world, but honestly, I'm not sure how much "luck" really had to do with it. More like determination and faith. They're a killer combo, for sure. 

Thanks to everyone who stuck with me two years ago. I know I did a whole lot of anxious-babbling in my attempt to avoid breathing into a brown paper bag every five minutes. I couldn't have done it without you all. 

This is Too Adult: Health Insurance

So if we're going to start over, first off, I need to get rid of the How To-type posts, because lately I'm finding myself in extremely unfamiliar territory that even I don't know how to help anyone else navigate through, except maybe provide a little humor to those of you who have either:

1. Been there
2. Done that,
3. Need a good laugh at someone else's expense

Like choosing health insurance. What the heck. First off, let me clarify this is 100% not any sort of political post, but just how it relates to me. We've heard everyone talking about Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act, which, FYI, are the same thing. But in all honestly, not only am I confused about healthcare changes, but just IN GENERAL. At least I'm not this confused.

After getting married a few months ago, all of the sudden I was presented with way too many options.  And not just the options I was prepared for, like do I want to keep my last name or change it to his? Or maybe come up with some hybrid: Vanler? Milance? Should I change Brodie's name? Does he care? 

Now I also have to choose things like how to file our taxes, creating joint bank accounts, choosing healthcare options, cosigning loans, and a whole long list of things that baffle me. I have learned quickly that my husband really looks to me to do the research and present him with our options, as apparently he knows me well enough to know that even if he does the research, the enthusiastic Googler in me will come up with 50 of the most hair-brained questions he never would have thought of in the first place and I'll end up looking it up myself anyway. (I'm annoying. I know it. I'm glad he chose to deal with it.) 

But health insurance is where I really lost it. We are both lucky enough to have jobs that offer benefits plans that include healthcare coverage and help pay for it. But for the first time in my Almost Adult life, cost wasn't the main driving factor. All of the sudden, we have two incomes that equal a lot more than what I'm used to after living alone for so long before getting married. Now I'm presented with the choice of comparing options and looking at things like deductibles and coverage rates and stop/loss amounts. Have I lost you? Good.

Because this is where I lost myself. I learned a whole lot about my company's coverage this last year after my ACL surgery. Mostly that I didn't have enough physical therapy allowed for such a major surgery, which sucked a big one. If you're lucky, you've never had to put your health insurance coverage to the test and don't know that much about it. 

Well, here's what I've learned are the three most important financial questions when looking at health insurance plans that change the amounts of your monthly premium rates: 

1. Deductible: The amount you are required to pay before insurance kicks in to cover the majority of major medical expenses, like surgeries or associated costs. My MRIs, X-rays and stuff like that went towards the deductible, but not regular visits that you pay a co-pay for. 
2. Coinsurance Rates: This is a percentage that your insurance pays for medical expenses AFTER you've met your deductible. For instance, if your deductible is $1,000 and your coinsurance rate is listed as 80%, then after you pay your initial $1,000 in expenses, your insurance will kick in and cover 80% of your remaining expenses, leaving you with the responsibility of paying for 20% of the excess costs. I'd give you examples, but whatever, hopefully you get the gist.
3. Coinsurance Stop/Loss Amounts: This is the real kicker. The stop/loss amount is listed as the MAX that you can pay after your deductible. So, lets say your stop/loss amount is $3,000, that means AFTER you've met your deductible ($1,000), your portion of the excess expenses (20%) CANNOT exceed $3,000. That means your max out of pocket expense would be $4,000. The quicker you get to that Stop/Loss amount, the faster you pay nothin'.

This is where the real differences started to show. Our plans had big differences in deductibles and stop/loss amounts, and would definitely make a difference financially if we had an incident come up, like another torn ACL (please, no), that would put our insurance to the test.

So what do you do? Pay the higher monthly premium rate for the lower deductible? Choose the plan with the lowest stop/loss amount? Does the coverage rate make a difference? I DON'T KNOW. 

Wanna know how I chose our plan? The super-adult-ish way. I put my hand over my eyes and pointed to where the plan information was sitting on the table and yelled, "This one!" 

DISCLAIMER: Please don't yell at me if I got any of this wrong. I'm still confused. Health insurance is too adult. 

How To: Start Over

Okay, so I realize my past attempts at starting over with Mishaps have just fallen flat and I can't blame you for not following me anymore as I realize that I've just set you up for disappointment so far. 

See, here's the thing. Somewhere along the line in the last year or so, I think I actually BECAME an adult. Its quite jarring, a little shocking and just down-right weird. And I lost the majority of my writing material. Dumb careers and relationships going so well just robbed me of anything funny to say. Its a real problem.

I am at an impasse. I miss blogging, kind of terribly. I miss hearing from people I don't always regularly talk to telling me they follow me. I miss brainstorming new topics and figuring out how to make it as funny and relatable as possible. 

So does that mean its time to change my focus for this blog? Do I start all over with new ideas? If you're reading this at all then that must mean you haven't 100% abandoned me as I rightfully deserve, so you tell me what you want to read/hear from me.