This is Too Adult: Health Insurance

So if we're going to start over, first off, I need to get rid of the How To-type posts, because lately I'm finding myself in extremely unfamiliar territory that even I don't know how to help anyone else navigate through, except maybe provide a little humor to those of you who have either:

1. Been there
2. Done that,
3. Need a good laugh at someone else's expense

Like choosing health insurance. What the heck. First off, let me clarify this is 100% not any sort of political post, but just how it relates to me. We've heard everyone talking about Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act, which, FYI, are the same thing. But in all honestly, not only am I confused about healthcare changes, but just IN GENERAL. At least I'm not this confused.

After getting married a few months ago, all of the sudden I was presented with way too many options.  And not just the options I was prepared for, like do I want to keep my last name or change it to his? Or maybe come up with some hybrid: Vanler? Milance? Should I change Brodie's name? Does he care? 

Now I also have to choose things like how to file our taxes, creating joint bank accounts, choosing healthcare options, cosigning loans, and a whole long list of things that baffle me. I have learned quickly that my husband really looks to me to do the research and present him with our options, as apparently he knows me well enough to know that even if he does the research, the enthusiastic Googler in me will come up with 50 of the most hair-brained questions he never would have thought of in the first place and I'll end up looking it up myself anyway. (I'm annoying. I know it. I'm glad he chose to deal with it.) 

But health insurance is where I really lost it. We are both lucky enough to have jobs that offer benefits plans that include healthcare coverage and help pay for it. But for the first time in my Almost Adult life, cost wasn't the main driving factor. All of the sudden, we have two incomes that equal a lot more than what I'm used to after living alone for so long before getting married. Now I'm presented with the choice of comparing options and looking at things like deductibles and coverage rates and stop/loss amounts. Have I lost you? Good.

Because this is where I lost myself. I learned a whole lot about my company's coverage this last year after my ACL surgery. Mostly that I didn't have enough physical therapy allowed for such a major surgery, which sucked a big one. If you're lucky, you've never had to put your health insurance coverage to the test and don't know that much about it. 

Well, here's what I've learned are the three most important financial questions when looking at health insurance plans that change the amounts of your monthly premium rates: 

1. Deductible: The amount you are required to pay before insurance kicks in to cover the majority of major medical expenses, like surgeries or associated costs. My MRIs, X-rays and stuff like that went towards the deductible, but not regular visits that you pay a co-pay for. 
2. Coinsurance Rates: This is a percentage that your insurance pays for medical expenses AFTER you've met your deductible. For instance, if your deductible is $1,000 and your coinsurance rate is listed as 80%, then after you pay your initial $1,000 in expenses, your insurance will kick in and cover 80% of your remaining expenses, leaving you with the responsibility of paying for 20% of the excess costs. I'd give you examples, but whatever, hopefully you get the gist.
3. Coinsurance Stop/Loss Amounts: This is the real kicker. The stop/loss amount is listed as the MAX that you can pay after your deductible. So, lets say your stop/loss amount is $3,000, that means AFTER you've met your deductible ($1,000), your portion of the excess expenses (20%) CANNOT exceed $3,000. That means your max out of pocket expense would be $4,000. The quicker you get to that Stop/Loss amount, the faster you pay nothin'.

This is where the real differences started to show. Our plans had big differences in deductibles and stop/loss amounts, and would definitely make a difference financially if we had an incident come up, like another torn ACL (please, no), that would put our insurance to the test.

So what do you do? Pay the higher monthly premium rate for the lower deductible? Choose the plan with the lowest stop/loss amount? Does the coverage rate make a difference? I DON'T KNOW. 

Wanna know how I chose our plan? The super-adult-ish way. I put my hand over my eyes and pointed to where the plan information was sitting on the table and yelled, "This one!" 

DISCLAIMER: Please don't yell at me if I got any of this wrong. I'm still confused. Health insurance is too adult. 

How To: Start Over

Okay, so I realize my past attempts at starting over with Mishaps have just fallen flat and I can't blame you for not following me anymore as I realize that I've just set you up for disappointment so far. 

See, here's the thing. Somewhere along the line in the last year or so, I think I actually BECAME an adult. Its quite jarring, a little shocking and just down-right weird. And I lost the majority of my writing material. Dumb careers and relationships going so well just robbed me of anything funny to say. Its a real problem.

I am at an impasse. I miss blogging, kind of terribly. I miss hearing from people I don't always regularly talk to telling me they follow me. I miss brainstorming new topics and figuring out how to make it as funny and relatable as possible. 

So does that mean its time to change my focus for this blog? Do I start all over with new ideas? If you're reading this at all then that must mean you haven't 100% abandoned me as I rightfully deserve, so you tell me what you want to read/hear from me. 

How To: Play Catch Up (Again)

So remember that one time I said I was back? Apparently I'm a liar. I apologize. Part of me feels like I owe it to all of you to only post quality posts, and lately I haven't had much material to go off of. Maybe I'm getting too good at this whole "adult" thing, which is just a frightening thought.

So for those of you who don't know, I got engaged in February. Ironically, I met him online, and he was guilty of only a few of my rules. (If you don't know my rules, you should read them here. Especially because its Monday and I'm sure you need a good giggle.) He did promise before our first date to never use air quotes, and a year later, I can't recall a time that he ever has, so at least he's better at keeping promises than me. 

I have a hard time believing its really been a year. I bought my house a year ago. I had my Cinco de Derby party a year ago. I started my new job a year ago. How has that much time really lapsed? Brodie turned FOUR, which means I have now been out of college for as long as I was ever in it. That just seems unacceptable to me. 

I have been purposefully avoiding posting anything about wedding plans because I don't really want to be That Girl who only ever talks about her wedding. At the same time, because its my wedding and outrageous stuff just seems to happen to me on a regular basis, wedding planning hasn't really been what I had been imagining it to be.

I haven't had a single appointment with revolting flower/theme/color choices, or dry cake samples, or horrifically frilly dresses I'm forced to try on. Mostly because I haven't had any appointments, haven't tasted any cakes, and only tried on 3 dresses. I have never been called anything but efficient. 

Sometimes bad things happen with good timing. I tore my ACL at Christmas this last year after my famous last words, giggling while telling Chris he "skied like a third grader", about thirty seconds before I took the most epic fall of my ski career. Yes, you can tell me its karma, I shouldn't have been mean, but I still stick to saying that if this was my payback, I was overpaid and will give Ms. Karma a full refund.

So there I sat through most of February and March in a knee brace that quite literally went from my ankle to my hip watching my wonderful mother run around having appointments with revolting flower/theme/color choices, and dry cake samples, and weeding out horrifically frilly dresses I wasn't forced to try on. Sometimes I actually forget I'm getting married its been so easy. 

This weekend I did have my first Bridezilla moment during a fake-turned-kind-of-real argument with my mom. She has been planning everything wonderfully so far and dealing very well with my wedding theme being "whatever," as it seems to be. 

Over the first dance/father-daughter dance. Not over the music. Or when the line dance instructors will come out (not kidding). Or about traditions. Nope. This was about breaking them, which I've been all about with everything from the garter/bouquet toss (hate them with a fiery passion) to cake cutting (screw cake... we're having cake balls) to attire (cowboy boots). We were discussing the ORDER of the dances. Its called a FIRST dance. You can't have it second. This is not tradition. Its grammar. I may throw tradition out the window at the drop of a hat, but I don't mess around with grammar. 

So here's whats going to happen going forward:

1. I'm going to post funny stories as they happen.
2. You're going to hold me accountable for this.
3. Otherwise I'll probably go back to making promises I don't keep.
4. Because I'm a terrible human being.
5. Karma owes me big time.
6. I'm getting married in less than 100 days.
7. You're going to not hate me for disappearing for months at a time.

Great. Glad we got that settled. See you again soon!