So remember that one time I said I was back? Apparently I'm a liar. I apologize. Part of me feels like I owe it to all of you to only post quality posts, and lately I haven't had much material to go off of. Maybe I'm getting too good at this whole "adult" thing, which is just a frightening thought.
So for those of you who don't know, I got engaged in February. Ironically, I met him online, and he was guilty of only a few of my rules. (If you don't know my rules, you should read them here. Especially because its Monday and I'm sure you need a good giggle.) He did promise before our first date to never use air quotes, and a year later, I can't recall a time that he ever has, so at least he's better at keeping promises than me.
I have a hard time believing its really been a year. I bought my house a year ago. I had my Cinco de Derby party a year ago. I started my new job a year ago. How has that much time really lapsed? Brodie turned FOUR, which means I have now been out of college for as long as I was ever in it. That just seems unacceptable to me.
I have been purposefully avoiding posting anything about wedding plans because I don't really want to be That Girl who only ever talks about her wedding. At the same time, because its my wedding and outrageous stuff just seems to happen to me on a regular basis, wedding planning hasn't really been what I had been imagining it to be.
I haven't had a single appointment with revolting flower/theme/color choices, or dry cake samples, or horrifically frilly dresses I'm forced to try on. Mostly because I haven't had any appointments, haven't tasted any cakes, and only tried on 3 dresses. I have never been called anything but efficient.
Sometimes bad things happen with good timing. I tore my ACL at Christmas this last year after my famous last words, giggling while telling Chris he "skied like a third grader", about thirty seconds before I took the most epic fall of my ski career. Yes, you can tell me its karma, I shouldn't have been mean, but I still stick to saying that if this was my payback, I was overpaid and will give Ms. Karma a full refund.
So there I sat through most of February and March in a knee brace that quite literally went from my ankle to my hip watching my wonderful mother run around having appointments with revolting flower/theme/color choices, and dry cake samples, and weeding out horrifically frilly dresses I wasn't forced to try on. Sometimes I actually forget I'm getting married its been so easy.
This weekend I did have my first Bridezilla moment during a fake-turned-kind-of-real argument with my mom. She has been planning everything wonderfully so far and dealing very well with my wedding theme being "whatever," as it seems to be.
Over the first dance/father-daughter dance. Not over the music. Or when the line dance instructors will come out (not kidding). Or about traditions. Nope. This was about breaking them, which I've been all about with everything from the garter/bouquet toss (hate them with a fiery passion) to cake cutting (screw cake... we're having cake balls) to attire (cowboy boots). We were discussing the ORDER of the dances. Its called a FIRST dance. You can't have it second. This is not tradition. Its grammar. I may throw tradition out the window at the drop of a hat, but I don't mess around with grammar.
So here's whats going to happen going forward:
- I'm going to post funny stories as they happen.
- You're going to hold me accountable for this.
- Otherwise I'll probably go back to making promises I don't keep.
- Because I'm a terrible human being.
- Karma owes me big time.
- I'm getting married in less than 100 days.
- You're going to not hate me for disappearing for months at a time.
Great. Glad we got that settled. See you again soon!
